TW!!!! Mentions of bullying and death

It still affects me.

Though it shouldn’t affect me,

The day they said it should have been me.

The day they said I was unworthy,

The day they said it should have been me:

Should have been me that died.

Should it still bother me

Almost four years ago it happened

Should be over it,

Right?

I will always feel bad for the girl,

That actually suffered the...

The day my mom passed…

everything changed.

My father became grumpier,

and started to drown his sorrows.

Eventually, his grumpiness turned to anger,

and he pointed it towards me.

He was drunk most nights,

but the times he wasn’t,

he would lash out at me,

and hit me across the face with his hands,

or a bottle, a remote control you name it…

he’s most likely hit me with it.

One night,

his Anger w...

There you crouch

Neck stiff in arch

Mouth gaping open

But there’s only a whimper

Before you is altar

It swallows, you flush

And into it you sacrifice

Your poisoned guts

Standing guard: our guardians,

Akimbo is unamused

You are their black sheep

Dead eyes undesirable

You did it for attention

You’re acting the fool

So sayeth the guardians

I sayeth too

Peer into the future

Question crystal b...

There you squat

Neck stiff in arch

Mouth open wide

But there’s only a whimper

Before you is an abyss

It swallows, you flush

And into it you sacrifice

Your stomach’s contents

Standing guard: our guardians,

Akimbo and unamused

Try a different pill later

This one’s no use

You did it for attention

You’re acting the fool

And so am I today

Neck stiff, only a whimper

A stylus in my hand

To carve...

I remember pleading

wishing to see love, too young to

phrase what the word was,

but that love extends beyond mere

language, it was tears and bloodied lips

bruised eyes, balled fists,

a broken little boy putting up

a perfect boxer’s guard, hands raised

_Why? Why? Why!? _

_ _

_ Doesn’t anyone love me? _

__

__

How I would’ve held him close,

so not even hell should touch him...

(satirical piece)

I loved my son

Yes, I did very much

Whenever I looked at him with me on the internet

But in real life, oh, no, I wish I could have killed him

‘cause of how annoying he was

He always whined and complained

He always said “Why do I always have to be happy?” this

Or “Why do I always have to follow a tight schedule?” that

Well, it was to make sure you were always happy!

Happy enoug...

Stone faced

I carry on

My heart calcified

My shoulders bouldered

My brain burdened

My breathe choking

Each time I think

He is forever gone

But I don't know

How to live without him

For all I know

Is being

The time keeper's sister

I wander through life

Floating in a joyless fog

Until grief catches up with me

One day I am forced into therapy

When a friend simply says,

Talk to me, I’ll listen

Tell m...

Why does it affect me

But I have you?

The burning in my stomach gives me the urge to grab the pencil and stab my self

I wanna kill my self and I dont

So the best I could do is hurt myself

I tried to give you sighns but it seems like you dont understand

And no I dont wanna say it out loud

It makes me nervous

Not in texts either

My parents check those

Preferably in something like roblox

Where my w...

Her words were sharp like a knife

Intentionally causing others strife

My anger was sharper than my wit

Causing me to lash out and hit

So we both sat on an opposite side

As our tired mother started to chide

“You two can keep fighting all the time”

“Or can be each others partner in crime”

She went on to explain

And it never left my brain

One thing my mother said

That finally got to my head

“No ...

Favourite stone seat

Enjoy summer sun

Contemplate haiku...