Writing Prompt

(ignore prompt)

Beomgyus' head was buzzing at his gentle hands, it hurt too much. More than his punches or harsh touches.

It hurt because it felt like love, rather than violence.

It hurt because it was all he ever wanted.

To be loved.

To be hurt.

To be cut open and wounds kissed gently.

To be cradled with arms of thorns.

It hurt because it was Taehyun,

who was all he ever wanted....

I lay comfortably with my eyes shut, yet sleep never comes.

Dreams of misguided wrongs keep me awake. Do my actions speak louder than my intentions? I’m forever tortured, unable to rest without closure.

How does one guide a wrong?

Is it even possible?

Or is that the very nature of an accident, to be misled beyond correction?...

_“I said I was sorry”_

**“It doesn’t matter Lila”**

_“Alex I care”_

**“It doesn’t matter, You fucking outed me”**

_“Not like I meant to, did they even catch on?”_

**“You said They instead of she you damn idiot”**

_“I’m sorry Ale….”_

**“Just stop”**

_“But I love you”_

**“It doesn’t seem like it”**

_“I love you Alex”_

**“You outed me to my homophobic parents, thats not love”**

_“Love is ...

If i were to write you all my intentions

behind every miss-taken

If all my lies

were organized

placed inside pages for you to find

The rotten parts of me

drenched in ink

And we need not speak

But run our fingers along the lines

silently mouthing sentences

If I could grasp that pen steady

ready to spill it all on the empty white spaces left behind

If I could be as strong

Would I be reborn i...

I’m sorry I wasn’t enough

I’m sorry I’m not like your other daughters

I’m sorry I don’t have a perfect body

I’m sorry you don’t love me

I’m sorry I was a mistake

**_ Im sorry….

_**I wish you didn’t body shame me

I wish I was strong

I wish I was smart

I wish I loved myself

I wish I didn’t look like this

I wish the voices weren’t so loud

I wish you cared

I wish I was...

oh,

did i say something wrong?

Er,

i must have surely...

no,

it can't be that!

but,

i am still at fault surely?

your hand on my shoulder,

quells all my nerves.

my mind an open folder,

with no more reserves.

your empathetic silence,

a boon to my heart.

this will all make sense,

so lets restart.

...

i love you Baby ...

When I look over at you,

you’re already smiling at me.

I can’t help but freak out-

I want you to like me,

but if you do,

you’ll only be let down.

I’m not your soulmate-

not your best friend.

I don’t take away your frown.

I’ll only let you down.

Instead of admitting,

that I have a silly, stupid crush,

the moment he shows the signs,

I don’t look at him, but I blush,

I refuse to talk to him,

I don’...

What did I do wrong?

I’m sorry. I know I did… something.

Isn’t this just me though?

I don’t understand,

It doesn’t make sense.

I’m acting strange, I assume.

But why?

And why are you acting even stranger?

Why are you all treating me like I’m insane,

Like I can’t be trusted,

Like I’m falling apart at the seams and you can just stuff me full of cotton to fix me,

But only one person has actually aske...

Second chances,

Oh, I wish it was easy

To give someone

A second chance.

You hurt my heart,

Left me in the dust,

Alone to die,

Stuck in the dark.

I though we were friends,

But I guess I was

Wrong…

We never were.

I cherished our bond,

But the more I tried to

Hold on,

The more you pushed me away.

Someday, I hope

I’ll be able to

Forgive you,

But…

Sometimes goodbye

Is a second chance....

Success is hard to achieve

When failure comes so naturally

My existence is cursed

Never being good enough

Love is not gifted but earned

So I’m in short supply

But redemption is possible

Falters not permanent

All I need is to try harder...