Lysalei

I love books, music, and all things involving escaping reality. I’m a little messed up, but isn’t everyone? My posts are almost always fairly depressing, there’s your warning. Have a nice day 🏳️‍🌈🫶

336

Writings

Followers

Following

Lysalei

336

Writings

Followers

Following

I’m Sorry

Lysalei

1 min read

If this is what I’m going to be I’ll be it.

If this is my place I’ll stay.

I begged the world to help me,

Prayed to a god I don’t even believe in to _help me_.

I spent so long trying to hide it,

To hide _from_ it,

And this is what happens?

Fine.

I’m just annoyed I don’t know what’s sharp enough.

So I’m sorry I complain.

I’m sorry I’m a coward.

I’m sorry I’m lazy and useless and rude.

I’m so sorr...

Poetry

Feel Something

Lysalei

1 min read

I just want to feel something. Anything.

Love.

Hate.

Fear.

Joy.

Hope.

Despair.

Pain.

I don’t even mean to seek it,

And yet I do.

I go on a run when I wake up,

Telling myself I’ll eat when I get home.

But then I have summer school,

And assignments,

And it’s been so long that I might as well wait until lunch.

Just a little longer and I’ll feel like I did something great,

Like “look at me, see how lo...

Poetry

Empty Again

Lysalei

1 min read

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

I wish that were true.

I wish I believed it,

I wish every negative experience made me braver,

More confident,

_Stronger_.

But that’s not how my life works.

No, what doesn’t kill me makes me want to kill myself.

I can’t do this again.

I just can’t.

Every time, it hurts more.

Every time, I get closer and closer.

The scars on my heart only get deeper.

The ...

Poetry

She’s Like The Sun

Lysalei

1 min read

She’s like the sun.

When I first liked her,

It was because she could brighten my day,

Could paint my skin with the warmth of her sunlight.

Never a cloud in sight,

Her smile could light me up.

With a single touch she could drape a warm blanket over me,

Could make me feel comfortable and safe.

She’s like the sun.

At first, I enjoyed the warmth.

But after hours of it beating down on my skin,

After s...

Poetry

Burning House

Lysalei

1 min read

I wish someone would break my heart.

I wish someone _could_ break my heart.

I want to spend the night in a burning house,

As long as I’m not sleeping alone.

I want to play with matches and watch my heart burn,

I want to set fire to the world around me.

I want to melt, and I want to break.

I want to feel alive,

To feel human.

I want the terror of feeling the whole world drop away.

I want the pani...

Poetry

Ugly Tears

Lysalei

1 min read

I’m an ugly crier.

Ugly tears streaming down my face,

My eyes puffy and my face red.

Ugly whimpers escaping my lips,

Muffled to my ears by headphones.

Ugly emotions ringing in empty air,

Anger swirling every time I lash out

And hurt echoing in my gasps for breath.

I’m an ugly crier.

Maybe that’s why I don’t want anyone to see me....

Poetry

Am I On Something…?

Lysalei

1 min read

Me.

Her.

Leaving, scared, next year.

Books, lonely, food, tired, desperate.

Life, death, fear, pain, empty.

_Summer-_

_Why are there so many freaking bugs?!_

_Helloooo universe, do I seem like I need to be screwed with _**_more_**_ right now??_...

Poetry

Dear Me

Lysalei

1 min read

“_You got this, Cora. Really. You can do this, I know. And if you just do your best, that’s enough. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay._”

You’re enough, even when you don’t want to be. Even when you want to break, even when you want to shatter the mirrors, the girl reflected there will support you. I’ll help you, even when you don’t want it. You can hate me for it, but I’ll always sav...

Poetry

Here We Go Again

Lysalei

1 min read

Not okay not okay not okay.

Stop saying it’s okay.

I’m an idiot, I’m a moron,

I screwed up and I’m letting you down and I’m so so sorry and it’s not okay and

I’m

Not

Okay.

And I hate that saying those words make me feel a bit more okay because I’m not I’m not I’m not.

I’m dying I’m drowning can’t you see?

I’m shattering but I would rather die than do the only thing I can think to keep myself toget...

Poetry

8 Lines

Lysalei

1 min read

Eight new lines on my leg

Like the games of 8-ball I always lose against her

Making peace with my failures

Because I’m only going to die anyway

My heart beat-beating

_I want to kiss her_

I bombed the science final

But next year I’ll be at a school for **science** and technology

I’m wondering if that’s okay

Wondering if I’m screwed

I’m playing with fire

Playing with life

With people

Yet I feel no g...

Poetry