Lysalei

I love books, music, and all things involving escaping reality. I’m a little messed up, but isn’t everyone? My posts are almost always fairly depressing, there’s your warning. Have a nice day 🏳️‍🌈🫶

330

Writings

Followers

Following

Lysalei

330

Writings

Followers

Following

Ugly Tears

Lysalei

1 min read

I’m an ugly crier.

Ugly tears streaming down my face,

My eyes puffy and my face red.

Ugly whimpers escaping my lips,

Muffled to my ears by headphones.

Ugly emotions ringing in empty air,

Anger swirling every time I lash out

And hurt echoing in my gasps for breath.

I’m an ugly crier.

Maybe that’s why I don’t want anyone to see me....

Poetry

Am I On Something…?

Lysalei

1 min read

Me.

Her.

Leaving, scared, next year.

Books, lonely, food, tired, desperate.

Life, death, fear, pain, empty.

_Summer-_

_Why are there so many freaking bugs?!_

_Helloooo universe, do I seem like I need to be screwed with _**_more_**_ right now??_...

Poetry

Dear Me

Lysalei

1 min read

“_You got this, Cora. Really. You can do this, I know. And if you just do your best, that’s enough. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay._”

You’re enough, even when you don’t want to be. Even when you want to break, even when you want to shatter the mirrors, the girl reflected there will support you. I’ll help you, even when you don’t want it. You can hate me for it, but I’ll always sav...

Poetry

Here We Go Again

Lysalei

1 min read

Not okay not okay not okay.

Stop saying it’s okay.

I’m an idiot, I’m a moron,

I screwed up and I’m letting you down and I’m so so sorry and it’s not okay and

I’m

Not

Okay.

And I hate that saying those words make me feel a bit more okay because I’m not I’m not I’m not.

I’m dying I’m drowning can’t you see?

I’m shattering but I would rather die than do the only thing I can think to keep myself toget...

Poetry

8 Lines

Lysalei

1 min read

Eight new lines on my leg

Like the games of 8-ball I always lose against her

Making peace with my failures

Because I’m only going to die anyway

My heart beat-beating

_I want to kiss her_

I bombed the science final

But next year I’ll be at a school for **science** and technology

I’m wondering if that’s okay

Wondering if I’m screwed

I’m playing with fire

Playing with life

With people

Yet I feel no g...

Poetry

Happy (With Her)

Lysalei

1 min read

“_My girl, my girl, my girl_

_You will be myy girlllll~_”

I can’t help but bounce as I walk home,

Despite my ridiculously heavy backpack.

I can’t help but smile,

Despite the test I failed.

I can’t help but feel _happy_,

Despite everything.

I’ve got her now.

_Her_,

Who knows all the darkness in my mind.

**Her**,

Who is different in the same ways I am.

**_Her_**,

Who I’d loved as a friend first f...

Poetry

That Smile

Lysalei

1 min read

_When you look up at me_

_And give that tiny little smile,_

_I die._

_You rip the breath out of my lungs,_

_My heart can’t remember how to beat._

_How could it, when you’re looking at me like that?_

_Every one of my limbs feels tingly,_

_And there’s this perfect warmth spreading through me._

_You take my hand and run your thumb over my knuckles,_

_And everything in me _**_s h a t t e r s_**_._

I ...

Poetry

In My Memory

Lysalei

1 min read

I wish you could remain exactly how you are in my memory;

Tinted in a perfect rose gold.

But instead you are slowly fading;

Tainted by colors I don’t want to see.

I wish I didn’t have to see.

I wish I didn’t have to know.

And maybe that’s why I’m so scared to reach out,

Scared to try to catch up with the people who made me happiest.

I want to, I really do.

I miss them so, so badly.

But every t...

Poetry

Change

Lysalei

2 min read

I’m sick of this.

I’m so sick of acting like this,

So sick of feeling like this.

So much so that it twists my stomach,

It becomes venom in my blood.

It creates a writhing creature choking my lungs until I can’t breathe.

I’m being pathetic.

It’s embarrassing, honestly.

I’m better than this.

I’m holding myself to these impossible standards because… why?

Does it give me some twisted joy to watch m...

Poetry

Hopeless

Lysalei

1 min read

_You stupid, stupid girl._

_What did you think would happen?_

_What were you thinking?_

That’s the problem.

I wasn’t thinking.

I was _living_.

For a brief moment of my miserable life,

I was breathing and laughing and smiling and feeling and living.

I was so _alive_ that I forgot to think.

And now it’s hitting me like a train,

A force so real and heavy it’s crushing my chest.

I don’t know how I’m ...

Poetry