It all feels very… metaphorical.

Now that I don’t care about my body as much,

I lose weight.

Now that I’ve made peace with imperfect grades,

She cares more.

Now that I’ve realized how much I don’t want to hurt myself,

Unintended injuries decorate my body.

I just hope someone gets to read this brilliant mess of figurative language.

I hope someone takes these themes to heart.

I hope someone sees th...

“Busy” isn’t the right way to describe it.

“Busy” means you have little free time,

You move from one thing to the next without time to catch your breath.

“Busy” is not what I am.

But “overwhelmed” isn’t right either.

“Overwhelmed” means you can’t get it all done,

Can’t find the right rhythm.

And I’m making it work.

So I guess I’m just busy.

I guess the thirty minutes on the bus being my only fre...

“I can’t stop smiling”

That was how I first realized it.

We were washing dishes

And I was playing Mamma Mia

And you were feeling down

So I twirled between every dish I dryed

And you finally smiled

And once I saw yours

I couldn’t stop mine.

Because I made you happy.

I made you smile

Even when you were down

Even when you were tired

And grumpy

And bitter.

I made you smile.

And that’s what I do

That...

I don’t mind being alone.

It’s being lonely that hurts.

I’m alone when I play music in a silent room,

Quietly working by myself.

I’m lonely when she walks in and plays her music twice as loud,

So I put in my earbuds,

Even though they hurt my ears.

It’s fine.

She didn’t realize.

I’m alone when it’s late at night and I’m in my room

And it feels like I’m the only person alive.

I’m lonely when she ...

Call me out on my bullshit

And I’ll work until I change it

Give me a time

And I’ll run until I beat it

Point out a flaw

And I’ll fight until I fix it

Challenge me

Dare me

Tell me I can’t do it

And I’ll prove to you I can

So I dare you

Challenge me again

Do it

Watch me win...

I don’t actually care about all the shit I complain about.

It’s okay.

It’s not perfect,

Nothing about me or my life is.

But that’s what makes it beautiful, right?

I’m happy where I am.

I’m happy with what I have.

I’m happy… with my life.

I’m happy… with… me.

Holy shit guys, it’s happening…

I’m happy.

I’m happy.

I’m happy.

I didn’t recognize it at first.

I was confused as hell when the though...

Just a few words can change everything.

“I’m supposed to be angry”

I tell myself

“I’m still mad, right?”

But just a few words

And it fades away

And I feel myself softening

Melting into you like always.

Somewhere in my brain

There’s a control panel that little people are frantically clicking

Wondering if I’m malfunctioning or just programmed wrong

“Why is she trying to smile?? Make that go away. S...

I thought I could pretend.

I thought I could act like everything was normal.

I thought I could go back to before I knew better.

I picked a girl and gave myself a silly,

Harmless crush.

I told my friends, the people on this app,

About her as if I was jumping back to the days when it didn’t matter,

When it was all just for fun.

It couldn’t hurt anyone if the girl was someone I’m never even going to...

When I was younger,

I reached for the sky.

I convinced myself I could touch the clouds,

Could sing with the stars.

I reached higher and higher,

Truly thinking that if I pushed myself a little farther,

Stretched my arms a little further,

I could go anywhere,

I could be anything.

Skinny,

Smart,

Even happy.

I wish I could tell her now.

I wish I could show her what all that reaching did.

I stretched ...

It’s not loneliness, exactly.

But that’s the closest words I can find.

Maybe emptiness?

It’s the absence of love, I think.

I’ll get all dressed up to go grocery shopping with my mom,

And I’ll look in the mirror and think “damn, I look cute right now.”

My outfit highlights the things I like about my body,

My hair cooperates with me,

My smile looks natural.

And it’ll feel so wasted because nobody’s ...