I don’t actually care about all the shit I complain about.

It’s okay.

It’s not perfect,

Nothing about me or my life is.

But that’s what makes it beautiful, right?

I’m happy where I am.

I’m happy with what I have.

I’m happy… with my life.

I’m happy… with… me.

Holy shit guys, it’s happening…

I’m happy.

I’m happy.

I’m happy.

I didn’t recognize it at first.

I was confused as hell when the thought first crossed my mind.

But I know now:

This is what it’s like.

This is what it feels like.

This is everything I’ve ever wanted,

And everything I didn’t realize I needed.

This team.

This sport.

This family.

These friends.

This app.

These cats.

This body.

This person.

Because yeah,

I give her a lot of shit.

Yeah,

I’m never going to be satisfied.

Yeah,

I’m always going to push her.

But she can take it.

She can take anything.

I believe in her,

And I believe in the people around her.

She’s got too much to live for to give up.

Too many people to stay strong for,

But that doesn’t mean she always has to be okay.

Too many dreams to quit chasing,

But she knows it’s alright to not reach them all.

I get so frustrated sometimes,

Because the best highs

Always come before the worst lows.

But it works the other way too.

I’ve been scared out of my mind because it’s felt like rock bottom.

I didn’t think I could take another fall,

So I refused to let myself fly.

I didn’t trust myself,

But maybe it’s time to change that.

I’m still here, aren’t I?

I got myself this far, didn’t I?

Fuck yeah, I did.

So what if I might not feel like this tomorrow?

So what if I’ll die one day?

So what if it could be by my own hand?

There is no way in hell I’m going to let that stop me from living.

And even in my worst moments,

That’s what I do.

I live.

I’m fucking alive.

And I’m not throwing that away.