I give up.

I give up.

I

Give

Up.

I’m done trying to please people,

Who want me to fail.

You think I ain’t pretty?

Well honey it’s subjective,

So have fun with your opinion,

But imma keep walking.

I am NEVER going to be able to please someone,

And I’d rather have a few haters,

Having stood for my cause,

Then keep on being the meek girl I once was.

I give up trying to make everyone happy.

You ...

Am I quiet?

Or do you never listen?

Are my words soft?

Or do you speak over them?

I’m so used to being silenced,

I enjoy listening to other more.

They’re life is more interesting than mine,

More important.

I dont talk,

Because there was a time when my ideas were not enough.

Old habits die hard I guess....

Rotting flowers can still smell sweet,

My smile burning my face.

Always fake.

Yet you know.

As my leg bounces beneath the table,

Cries digging into my throat,

You noticed.

Huh.

This is new.

You push a paper clips across the table towards my shaking hands,

Still looking up front.

I fold it between my fingers,

Fidgeting until I slow.

Smile now real,

Except in my heart,

Not one my face.

You kne...

There’s something so otherworldly

about listening to music and detaching.

Watching conversations

And laughter,

But I’m not there.

I’m in my own world,

Seperate to theirs,

Floating away.

Smiles I see,

But don’t understand,

Lips move,

If only I could hear.

The music pounding in my chest,

Beats and lyrics creating a space,

Where I can be free.

Oh it’s so amazing here,

I love it so much.

All ou...

Stetches, and warming up,

Anticipation high,

Though not expecting much.

Step on the treadmill,

Start at a slow pace,

Two minutes longer than usual.

Run

Run

Run

“IMMMAAAA BE YOUR IDOLL.”

Music to distract me,

From the very fact,

That my legs are sorta burning.

Run

Run

Run

“TAKEDOWNNNNN”

Mile marker down,

Anything now,

A PR.

Run

Run

Run.

“WERE GOIN UP UP UP”

So so proud,

Even as sweat dri...

Always the one to offer the olive branch,

When I want to fight till I’m dead.

Always the one who’s silenced,

By now, I already know how this will end.

Always the innocent dove,

With darkness lurking below.

Always perfect and fine,

No. Nobody truly knows.

Pure and white,

Yet splattered with blood.

Quiet and sweet,

And oh-so misunderstood.

So call me a dove,

And ignore my darkening heart,

Yes, c...

I’m sending words up to the sky,

Hoping and wishing something will come my way,

That maybe just maybe will change the fate of my day.

Joy always seems to be a waste,

Since it always fades afore the night falls,

Almost like it was never there at all.

Poison seeping into my soul,

Searching for a spark that isn’t there.

I’m trying so hard to care.

Passion is foreign.

I’m feeling like I’m wasting t...

God knows I need all the protection he can spare.

Blades and demons comming for my neck each day,

And I’m trying so hard not to just run away.

Built myself this tower,

Where only angels can reach,

Isolated.

I hate these walls,

I’m so alone,

But I put up these myself,

And cant find the instructions to take them apart.

And im screaming and crying and sitting here dying,

Asking, pleading for help,...

Swallow back the words,

Syllables I can’t say,

Choking me as I lie,

And pretend I’m okay.

Hidden behind all these walls,

Lost in my own mind,

Thoughts, oh so many thoughts,

Each one a reason I’m not fine.

Guilt fills my gut,

Because I know I should tell the truth,

But all I can think of,

Is how much I have to lose....

I know that they all truly do love me,

Friends I’m super grateful for, I mean it.

But I keep up all of my many walls,

Unable to pick; let them in, or not.

I know that they’d never really judge,

That they’d all be so kind about it,

But I’ve been damaged before with a friend,

And that trust is something I couldn’t mend....