BagelRat

Mostly write about my overwhelming thoughts. Mostly depressing writings so just a little warning.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4wxm1czj4shavuseonv6tz?si=xkwm73lytqgpx46xblrqjq&pi=u-xl2mmj3lt1ir

Writings

Followers

Following

BagelRat

Mostly write about my overwhelming thoughts. Mostly depressing writings so just a little warning.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4wxm1czj4shavuseonv6tz?si=xkwm73lytqgpx46xblrqjq&pi=u-xl2mmj3lt1ir

Writings

Followers

Following

If Only

BagelRat

1 min read

If only this world would have shown a little mercy

If only I didn’t loose my ring

If only the pills worked

If only you didn’t hid stuff from me

If only I didn’t think like this

If only I didn’t rely on everyone so much

If only you didn’t see what I post

If only I wasn’t like this

**_If only…

_**...

Poetry

Overdose

BagelRat

1 min read

Why did I do it this time

It hasn’t kicked in yet

1,2,3,4,5 pills

I feel dizzy

I don’t feel so good

My ears are ringing

What should I do?

Maybe if this doesn’t work I’ll try something else.....

Pain

BagelRat

1 min read

Why are the thoughts in my head so violent

I’m trying

I’m not enough

I’m starving but I’m barely surviving

I hate hiding these cuts

Panic attacks around every corner

I’m so **dramatic**

****

What is it like to love myself

Jump? cut? Hang myself?

I want to go

Please take me away

It hurts to much

No one cares or notices

Maybe if I take more antidepressants

What if I overdose?

Maybe I should do d...

Poetry

Hidden

BagelRat

1 min read

I’m afraid for you to come home

How can I hide this?

It goes all the way down my forearm

The bandages won’t stay

Don’t send me away

It was a moment

It was a lot

Blood on my blade

I don’t want you to see it

You have before

You left with no care

So why do I think you’ll care this time?

Maybe you should take me away

I know you don’t want that again

But that wasn’t me…

So I’ll stay hidden...

Love

BagelRat

1 min read

Those eyes looking at me. That smile got my head spinning. Your so perfect. Your so good with your words and I don’t wanna let you go. Your hands resting on my hips like they belong there. You are my everything. I love you so much.

- M...

Poetry

Mistake

BagelRat

1 min read

I’m sorry I wasn’t enough

I’m sorry I’m not like your other daughters

I’m sorry I don’t have a perfect body

I’m sorry you don’t love me

I’m sorry I was a mistake

**_ Im sorry….

_**I wish you didn’t body shame me

I wish I was strong

I wish I was smart

I wish I loved myself

I wish I didn’t look like this

I wish the voices weren’t so loud

I wish you cared

I wish I was...

Poetry

Breathe

BagelRat

1 min read

“Hey, look it’s a grave! Quick don’t breathe..”

Trust me I wasn’t breathing

My lungs are giving out

My vocals are broken

I dig deeper into my arms, legs, and chest

**_Breathe_**__

My eyes roll back

Blood drips to the floor

Scars from head to toe

**_Breathe_**__

What’s my name?

Is that the ambulance?

Who’s shouting?

Who’s...

Skinny

BagelRat

1 min read

Another sleepless night

Fresh blood on my wrist

A empty stomach

Trying to look like a model

Teardrops on my pillow

Blood on my blade

Starving myself

Trying to feel something…

Just something…

Just breathe…

“Pull me out of the train wreck”...

Poetry

Passing

BagelRat

1 min read

It’s been a year since you’ve died. Today I went fishing with my mom I wish you were there. You left us behind and I blame myself. I want to see you soon. I wish you could have taking me hunting and fishing. But now your six feet under with no tombstone. Your wife is working to get money for a gravestone but it’s difficult. We all wish you were here. I’m sorry your kidneys failed and you rotted aw...

Heartbreak

BagelRat

1 min read

With the night comes darkness, but also the stars. Phone calls, tears, blood, knife, pain, and it all somehow repeats itself. You took my heart and my hoodies. You hit me with a car and felt no sympathy. You called the police and thought it could help. But now your just dancing on my grave. The edge was so close that night. I was screaming out to god to help me find my wings. But it’s not my time ...

Poetry