Accidentally married a raccoon in Vegas.
Bought him a tiny tuxedo. Regret nothing.
Called Mom. She cried and sent snacks.
Decided to name him Greg.
Everyone said, âYou need help.â
Fired from my job for ârodent nepotism.â
Greg now runs the company.
He promoted himself to CEO of Snacks.
I found that inspirational.
Jumped on a trampoline to celebrate.
Knocked over my neighborâs hot tubâagain.
Lawsuit...