(This POV is mattie’s)

I sometimes think my shyness is like a switch. With around 90% of the people I meet I stutter, I can’t say the right thing and I end up in the corner of social functions with a book or texting my friends Ezra, Darcy or Conrad for advice on how to escape.

But not with Violette.

All last night I felt like I could just be me. Seeing she was just as nervous as I usually am for her own reasons made something click in my brain. It’s okay. She’s not gonna hurt me. She’s so afraid of me hurting her that her being malicious isn’t even on the table.

I don’t sleep that night. I touch my own hand, tracing where her soft pink nails had been as we spoke. Once she relaxed I got to see through the crack in her shell. She’s bright. She’s so funny. She’s beautiful. I find myself knowing what to say instead of awkwardly waiting for something to happen. We just have a natural flow.

In all honesty I just like spending time with her. When I was first diagnosed with cancer everyone treated me like glass. Wouldn’t meet my eye. It didn’t make me feel like a survivor. It made me feel like I was a ghost. Like I was translucent and people rather look right through me than treat me how I was before I got sick. It only got worse once my leg was amputated. Vi treats me like I’m not just Mattie with cancer. I could just have a fresh start and be Mattie. Without the additional stuff. It’s part of who I am but it’s not the first thing she sees or knows about me. It makes me feel excited to not just see her on the next date but the future following. I’m not writing my vows yet, don’t worry. I just mean I could picture introducing her to my family and friends. Maybe even going on a trip to Greece once the timing around teaching, boxing and her job in the museum is convenient.

And with that I don’t wait the rest of the weekend to text her.

“Hey Violette. Mattie here. I have a boxing match tomorrow. I was wondering if you’d like to come and then maybe afterwards we could grab a drink? I know it might feel weird sitting with my friends so soon but they’re lovely and will make you feel at home. I can pick you up and introduce you to Ez, Darcy and Conrad beforehand?”

Her reply comes two hours later.

“I’d love to x “

She sends her address and I feel like my heart is going to burst through my rib cage.