And so for the first time in a while, I stay. I didn’t lie on my profile. I genuinely am looking for a long term relationship. I’m not trying to waste peoples time. I’m just scared. I’m not sure what about Mattie keeps me at the table but we eat together, laugh, share stories people usually wait a few dates deep to say and I feel genuinely happy. He looks at me and seems relaxed. A sparkle lays behind the green and blue of his eyes. When we finish, he pays the bill, offers me his hand to stand up and we walk out into the night together.

“May I ask you something?” I say to him, looking up at his face as we follow the pavement through the main highstreet.

He nods, rubbing his hands together for warmth. It’s mid October and it already feels that snow is threatening the air.

“Yeah of course go for it”

“What’s Mattie short for?”

He frowns, that line reappearing between his brows but he has a playful glint in his eye.

“What do you mean?”

“Because it’s not short for Matthew is it?”

He barks a laugh which tells me I’m right and I smile, walking slowly by his side and not taking my gaze from his face. I like seeing the way he reacts to our conversations. No poker face. He’s so open. It’s refreshing. After Brennan I always thought I would end up battling to know someone. To see their world and know their mind. This is my first date with Mattie and I can already begin to read him. Just like he’s clearly learning to read me.

“No it’s not. Why don’t you guess?”

“Matteo?”

“Nope”

“Mather?”

“What? I’ve never even heard of that name”

He’s grinning now, looking down at me and appearing thoroughly intrigued in what I’m saying. His lips are slightly uneven. A dark dusty rose colour. Top heavy. I almost get distracted staring at them while I speak but also the sharp angles and shadows of his face. He’s devistatingly handsome. I feel like Bridget jones but with an apparently a non evil daniel.

“Ooh I know what it is” I tease, waiting for dramatic effect.

His cheeks are stained slightly pink and I can hardly contain a smile as we wait for the pedestrian light to turn green.

“Yeah?”

“Matilda”

“Matilda?!”

He wrinkles his nose and rolls his eyes in good jest before lifting my purse from my grip and hanging it on his broad shoulder. What a man. So many times I’ve been struggling (don’t get me wrong, I’m independent) and no one has offered to lighten the load. Mattie does it without thought. He’s agile in his thoughtfulness. He’s becoming a greener flag by the minute and I’m trying not to get scared by that.

“It’s Matthias”

Matthias.

“That’s a really lovely name”

“Thank you. How could you tell I wasn’t a Matthew though?”

I shrug lifting one shoulder, his hand gently hovering behind my back as we quickly cross the road. My black skirt of my dress flutters as we jog to the safer side. Bars are busy and many freshly turned 18 year olds litter the streets, drunk and excited. They call back and forth and some even dance.

“You don’t look like a Matthew”

“How so?”

“I dunno. You just don’t.”

“My mum was Greek”

Was..

“Oh right. Violette is French in origin. Not one of those named out of nowhere things. My dad was Congolese and my mum is from Quebec”

A silent ode to telling someone without telling someone. From me to you, Mattie.

He nods in understandment.

“I like it. I’ve never met a Violette before. Are you cold?”

I shake my head but can feel my cheeks getting warm. We walk for a bit longer until we get to a line of people waiting by the side of the main road to get a taxi. He turns to face me fully and hands me my bag.

“I’d really like to see you again Vi. I love know I dropped a big thing about… you know… my leg. I wasn’t really sure when was the right time so I just did it. But I’d like to take you out again. Maybe get your number?”

With our chemistry I’m glad we wants to see me again, I just… deep down I didn’t think he’d actually be so forward. His profile said shy! Shy my arse. He makes me feel like a toddler having to say hi to everyone and their nan at a birthday party.

“Yeah… yeah! I’d really like that. I had a really good time. I’d love to see you again. Here-“ I hand my phone out to him on a fresh contact page.

He reaches out, his fingers brushing mine as he takes my phone and adds his name and number into it.

“Shall I text you so you have my number too?”

The queue moves forward again.

“Please”

So I do. I text Matthias Parker

“Hi, it’s Vi x”