Im losing feeling.

What?

How is that possible.

I cant cry?

Tears dont fall out of my eyes?

I haven't cried for 3 months.

I've wanted too

Because it felt somewhat like a habit.

Im well aware im not okay.

But this messed up?

No no i can't hurt my self.

I may want to be like her but she's broken her promise many times.

I am not going to be like you.

You've hurt me by hurting yourself.

And when I lost...

Everywhere i look it's you.

The point is always well you...

In the clouds I see you.

I want to be you.

You hurt me by hurting yourself

You didnt know.

You did what I did 16 days ago

Its fine I'll have to live with it.

I wish I could step on my box

(Refrence from I love you comments)

I wish my box could help yours.

I might relapse but it fine

Let my box collapse so that you know your mine.

You dont...

Every time I look in the clouds i see us.

But never together.

I've seen you only once since we met.

But a million times on call.

Do I need to cancel my plans for you.

Id cancel my life for you a plan is the smallest I can do.

Like the boxes on my floor we can break easily.

I got stepped on.

You were my tape

You healed me.

But I will never be the same.

Than you got stepped on.

You didnt know what t...

Pains come and go

Everyone loves me

Yet im not their first choice

At least im loved i guess

But why love me?

You have your best friend(s)

Im a backup friend.

And my bestfriend has other people.

Im glad she does.

But she makes me jealous

She's so pretty

Funny

She's a memory

Someone you'd want to remember

Never remove.

How did I get her.

She got me

She should leave

I suck.

I WANT TO KILL MYSELF.

...

My life is rotting like a flower.

A flower may rotting and still smell sweet.

My bestfriends want to hurt themselves.

So do i.I.

Yet I have to act fine.

Im good at it.

Because when people make me "happy"

I cant stop.

Like I can't stop hurting me

6 days 17 hours since.

Keep me away from pencils.

But then how will I write?

Im rotting like a flower.

But all you can see is the sweetness of my smell

R...

Somedays pass with out a price to pay.

Others dont.

Somedays I just sit and lay

Others I want to kms but won't

Life is never one way.

Its always the others.

Let me be fine.

And not have to hold back the pencil to my skin.

For her

For them

For all of them

Multiple reasons to stay.

But not enough to prevent damage from the past and soon future.

Keep trying I say to myself constantly

"Itll be over ...

Jacob was only 16 had was considered lame and cool. Playing games with his friends like spin the bottle. Jamie, Alice, Marcus, Jake, him and, prudence. None of them knew eachother. They were yet all slightly drunk.

"Spin the bottle bitches" Jake yells

Jacob focusly spinned the bottle

"HAH NOW YOU HAVE TO KISS SOMEONE BITCH"jake yells

"Fuck you jackass" Jacob said back clearly annoyed.

"Me or jamie...

My life is a decision crisis.

People come at the wrong time.

Say stuff at the wrong time.

Crow.

Crow is perfect.

Except she came at the wrong time

Crow.

I met them/her on the bus when I got moved to the front because I got in trouble.

I was talking to my friend next to me.

And I noticed my friend and crow had interacted. She was beautiful.id never seen her. But she looked like an angel I was to em...

Why am I like this.

Trust issues.

Im a fucking problem

I BROKE THE PROMISE I MADE YESTERDAY

I WAS CUTTING MY SELF IN CLASS

ITS A HABIT IM SORRY THEO

I AM TRULY

I WANNA KILL MYSELF BUT HATE TALKING ABOUT IT

I MY LIFE IS SO FUCKING COMPLICATED

IM DATING SOMEONE

KISSED SOME ONE ELSE PLATONICALLY

MY LIFE IS FUCKED UP IM DIZZY AND SORRY

IM JUST NOT USED TO NOT USING MY PENCIL TO SCRAPE OFF MY SKIN

I ...

Feeling known

Feeling over grown

Over thrown

Feeling known

Feeling to much

Feeling alive

Feeling the thrive

Feeling known

Feeling enough

Feeling rough

Feeling burnt out

Feeling known

Feeling gone

Feeling wrong

Feeling like the lyrics in a song

Feeling like losing ping-pong

Feeling off

Feeling gone

Feeling none

Feeling Feeling which one to chose...

Feeling.

No more light

Just gone

Away...