Writing Prompt

Don’t you know it’s not gonna be easy

Don’t you know it’s not gonna be all fun

I wish I could hold your hand through this path

But you’ll have to walk it alone

Don’t you know it takes strength

Don’t you know it’s gonna take all you've got

I wish I prepared you for the price you have to pay

But now it’s sink or swim

The road is paved with the bones of travelers past

The path is dark so bring yo...

Oh glorious cathedral of questionable hygiene,

where the floor glistens

with substances I refuse to identify,

and the toilet paper

is thinner than my will to live.

How your automatic flush

fires before I’m even finished,

spraying me with the holy water of regret.

Blessed be the motion-sensor sink,

which turns on for exactly 0.3 seconds

and then gives up on me

like my high school math teacher.

Yo...

Oh, don the apron

Pick up a knife

Nothing’s more fun

Than to peel, chop and dice!

To measure ingredients

Using a finicky scale

Recalibrating repeatedly’s ever so tedious

Persistence at last does prevail.

Cream, whip, and mix

Sift and then fold

Are all cute culinary tricks

Grease those trays, oh so old

Preventing disaster when baking sticks

‘Fan Force’ oven’s a farce

Delicacies remain pale or ju...

You say that you love me, I think that’s “baloney.”you say there’s no one but me, but your” pepperoni “says differently .Im complementing you, by saying “pepperoni”, but it’s really a “weenie in a blanket”. Now that it’s over, I can now, crush your enormous ego. Because that’s the only thing that’s big....

Oh my,

Aren’t you sooo great?

A smile on your face that’s

OBVIOUSLY

Sincere…

That “perfect” voice of yours

Is like

HEAVEN…

If heaven was hell.

When I see that face of yours

That you think is just

Sooooo beautiful,

I smile,

Not sincerely,

Menacingly.

Oh no!

Please don’t cry,

I surely meant all

The sincere, kind things

I said!...

It is what it is .we die, they cry. The next day the news goes on as usual, the sun shines as usual , . 6 am the alarm clock rings as usual. Then they are off to work, as usual.Next day they are commuting in car or train to work. ,. They are wondering about the days they took off for the funeral. They’re thinking, is that considered sick days? Will they take that away from vacation time? They can’...

When I see your face upon me, and I see how much you care, just to get a little kiss I would just follow you anywhere. unfortunately, when I got to see you, you did look despair. He had met another woman, so why the heck did you make me travel all this way and you could’ve told me on the phone?...

Here is an ode

To these dear small objects.

Oh how you lighten my load!

I love your dear, white, round concepts.

To that dear tiny, pale oval,

Split in half with a thin line,

But let me make you a proposal:

You let me keep my sanity ‘cause it’s MINE!

To that dear little shape!

You are my favourite best friend,

You give me some escape,

And I will loathe you to the very end.

To that dear monster...

Oh, Marvelous.

Oh, Wonderful.

It’s everyone’s favorite thing.

It’s tea.

Oh, how amazing it is.

Too amazing to be real!

I totally understand why everyone simply loves it.

It’s just .So. Darn. Amazing!...

The rip

That strips itself from its pair

Oh how you keep sneakers together

Oh how you keep baseball gloves together

So useful you are Velcro

You make the world go round

But I’m a flat Earther

And I don’t belive the Earth is round...