Do you ever think the sun gets lonely up there?

That he envy’s all the stars?

With their close connections.

It doesn’t seem fair.

So far from reach with his rays crying.

Wishing for something more.

A friendship, for someone to actaully be there.

Always so tired of trying.

Do you ever think that he’s lost in his own light?

That he’s the one stuck in darkness?

He’s so burnt out.

It does...

I’d be lying if I said that I was fine.

I lie every day.

So instead I ask how are you?

Is everything ok?

I try to read between every line.

To piece together every hidden crack.

Taking off my own bandaids.

To replace them on you.

And I’m left to bleed.

A colorful hurt.

of forgotten memories.

Finally turned grey.

How can I be there for you?

Without wounding me....

“_This is the story of how I died” _that's how tangled starts, one of my favorite movies, at least it used to be. I remind myself; rocking **back and forth, back and forth**, squeezing my eyes shut to stop everything, to try and **forget**. 

“This it the story of how I died- That’s wrong, this is the story of how everyone else in this life, in my life, died.” I rephrased. 

**Back and for...

Leaving room for

**eRRorS**

Always seems wise.

Until there are mistakes.

Sleeping on every sofa.

In your house.

Throwing pillows and blankets

Hoping you won’t

**S **

** L**

** I**

** P **

Back into old habits

And misunderstandings.

Bits and pieces and pennys

**D G**

** U**

Into the cushions

Waiting for you to find.

But you hid them for a reason.

Something you thought yo...

They tell me lies.

Every little thing anyone has ever said behind my back.

The good.

The bad.

Sure maybe I asked for it.

With my rolling eyes.

But soft spoken words.

They tell me what I truly think of myself.

Filled with insecurities.

And regrets.

Standing in front of the mirror.

I hear the whispers the strongest.

Hits me hard late at night.

Tells me to do this and do that.

That e...

I watch from the outskirts.

Seeing you.

Seeing me.

And all the things that I wish I could change.

Better words could have been said.

More from you

More from me.

An action maybe.

Actions speak louder than words.

But nothing of you.

Nothing of me.

So then you leave.

And I don’t know how to be me anymore.

Without you.

I’m without me.

**_-With regards_**...

**Maybe** I just need a drink of water

…

And all these distructive thoughts will leave.

Maybe will open up my lungs.

So I can finally breathe.

But I choke.

**Maybe** I need to splash my face

…

Heal each scar.

Imperfections dotted across my skin.

Scrub it all away.

Until I bleed.

**Maybe** I just need to cry

…

And scream.

Wishing I was something more.

That I can never be.

So I sit emp...

If your hand could reach inside my heart,

What would you do with it?

Would you rip it to pieces?

Leaving me alone.

Broken on the bathroom floor.

Sobbing until my lungs collapse.

And my legs go numb.

A wreck with blood.

Left to spoil.

Like the milk you promised you’d drink.

That you wouldn’t abandon.

Would you pick at it?

Question by question.

Word by word.

Like the petals of a flower...

Nobody likes yellow.

It’s most peoples least favorite color.

Despite it being the brightest.

The color that represents joy.

But nobody likes yellow.

Only blue, pink, or green.

Occasionally red.

Everyone picks one of those colors.

But not yellow.

Not the sunshine or joy.

Not the laughter or good memories.

Or anything else in hues of yellow.

But yellow paints across my mind.

Whenever...

It’s cold outside.

And yet everything feels so warm.

So right.

With you by my side.

We look into each others eyes.

With whispers of “Hi”

And then a stretch of silence.

And then a “you truly are my favorite”

A code for something more.

“And your mine”

My only reply.

As I bury my face in your shoulders.

My arms around your neck.

You look at me.

like I’m everything.

More than the sun....