I know exactly who I am

And all of the things that

Made me this way

I know that I’m confrontational

And cocky

And egocentric

And bad at writing poetry

But that’s not your problem

I know I’m spoiled

I brag too much

I’m privileged and detached

And I have no right to complain

But that’s not your problem

I know I assume we’re friends

Because why wouldn’t we be?

And I know I don’t look gay

A...

You’re so beautiful.

You’re so strong.

And I wish I had

The right words to help you

So your soft heart isn’t ruined

By their selfish ones.

But I still don’t know

What to tell you

When you need someone

To support you like you

Support them.

I hope you know

That I want to be there

But my words aren’t enough

To protect you....

Was it worth it?

All of the late nights

Crying in class

Stressed mornings

Low grades

Just so my application can say “honors”

Was it worth it?

Signing myself up for more

Even though I couldn’t handle

This year alone

Was it worth it

To accept the F

That I deserved

But could have fought against?

Was it worth it

To lose myself

in the person I wanted to be

Even though she doesn’t exist?

This wasn...

I suck at writing someone needs to get me off of this app. I didn’t do any homework tonight at all because I was crying over instagram videos about giving homeless people money. Lord have mercy....

When someone is drowning,

Don’t tell them how to swim.

They can’t kick their feet.

They can’t turn their head to breathe.

They can only gasp for air,

Sucking in water

Where oxygen should be.

When you’re drowning,

Don’t do it quietly.

Don’t let yourself sink to the bottom just

Because it might burden someone else

To pull you back up.

It’s okay to struggle and make a scene.

You’re drowning.

Water ...

Hope is the bridge between despair and joy

But I’ve lost hope

I was good at swimming for so long

That I forgot drowning was an option

But now I’m sinking

The water is flooding over my head

And I’m being pulled down

Down

Down

Until I hit the rocky floor

And the air leaves my lungs

But I don’t try to swim back up

Because I only ever learned how to tread the water

All I can do is wait and hope

That ...

I want someone to hold onto

I want someone to hold onto me

I need soft love

Love that makes me feel warm

And appreciated

And wanted

And smart

I need someone who will call me pretty

Not hot

Someone who calls me

Baby

Love

Cutie

Not “babe”

I need someone who kisses

Like we have all the time in the world

Not someone who wants me naked

I need someone who hugs me

And cuddles me

And sneaks up beh...

I feel like I’m being kicked out of my home

The one place I knew I belonged

The one place I always felt safe

Because someone new is offering more

But haven’t I paid my rent?

Every minute of every day

Every time I search for my home

During the 5 minutes between classes

I don’t blame her

If someone else was offering more to me

Wouldn’t I take the deal too?

No.

I want to talk to her in person

...

I’m tired of waiting

Always waiting

Wondering when you’ll notice

I gave you so many signs

It’s not hard to understand

That I’m not what you

Want me to be

When do I have to

Destroy the perfect picture

Of the girl you think I am

I’m sitting here

My world spinning

My heart pumping

Too fast

Too slow

My thoughts scattered

But you don’t know

You can’t see it

You won’t see it

“They can find it in...

I’m so sorry

That my mind is on fire

Burning endlessly

Like the hills of California

I’m so sorry

That I can’t love you the way you want

Unconditionally

Fully committed to your lack of love

I’m sorry that we both deserve better

I don’t want you

Which is horrible because you make me happy

But you never text first

Never reply quickly

Never make the effort

Never ask about my day

I deserve better...