Was it worth it?

All of the late nights

Crying in class

Stressed mornings

Low grades

Just so my application can say “honors”

Was it worth it?

Signing myself up for more

Even though I couldn’t handle

This year alone

Was it worth it

To accept the F

That I deserved

But could have fought against?

Was it worth it

To lose myself

in the person I wanted to be

Even though she doesn’t exist?

This wasn’t what I wanted

I didn’t want to become so mean

So detached

So hateful

So tired

But I can’t eat when I’m hungry

And I always eat when I’m full

And I can’t sleep when I’m tired

But I always sleep when I’m busy

And my parents will listen

But they won’t understand

And I want to keep working

But all I can do is procrastinate

The year is over now

But I don’t know

If I can really enjoy the summer

After that shit show of a trimester

So I keep asking myself

Was it worth it?