Maybe i'm fine , i checked the time .

why hasn't it worked ?

I saw the notification "Are you okay " its just i didn't want to stay .

I was tired of struggling every day of pretending i was fine to end up at that room .

Kinda pointless if you ask me cause i never told them what was wrong .

Maybe my task was to stay silent cause if it was i definitely passed .

I was at my last straw a place i sw...

I've been trying to lay down the lie that i said goodbye .

I promised i move on when you were gone but its too heavy i cant stay steady.

I wasn't ready to face the truth and maybe i still haven't come to terms with your death .

I feel everyone concern again like i'm stuck in a loop of spaghetti hoops .

Waiting for them to consume the doom with a silver spoon .

Maybe they wouldn't take a bite if ...

Carrying on is hard when i hate myself .

I guess i hate my life wait let me be real this isn't a deal .

I'm always question why i'm even breathing ?

Is life really this deceiving .

I suppose i'm cursed destined to always feel worse .

Maybe my path ends riding in a hearse to no longer stress whats in my purse.

I'm tired of walking on this earth on a journey to find my worth .

...

I chose a place to end my race .

Yes ill fall cause i could never stand tall.

This bridge will lead me to peace some kind of release .

To cleanse pain through rain not to cure but to leave my body pure .

The river that flows will carry my soul through a stream no more screams .

Death has no place for gain or an ounce of shame only thing that left is a stain ....

The world is fulled with player that place smiles on tiles that play around with lies to avoid people seeing the tears in their eyes .

Never think less of who you are regardless of the steps you take .

As long as you don't fake who you are on the board no one can ever call you a fraud .

See the piece you play on the board doesn't mean your okay .

Not everyday you'll want to stand in a world that...

when i look in the mirror i see my dinner so i beg to be thinner .

I speak the devil name cause my body is filled with shame .

They say i'm destined for the pit cause of the way i slit my wrist .

God will forgive if you just live but i fear the light so i beg to end the fight.

I ask the reaper if he can take me deeper away from the rain that drizzles pain .

Love is something you borrow to drown t...

I've took the time to convince myself i'm fine .

I spent my night praying for a moment to slow down time like its such a crime to want more .

Maybe if i bite down the right slice i can reach the right price to be something great .

To finally earn enough to put food onto a plate , i'm tired of struggling to reach a fate .

At this rate ill die before reaching my purpose , Am i in the right space h...

This is how bleeding leads to beauty .

A darkness that twists into endless mist .

You see it started with me slicing twice .

Now i'm unable to list every scar that's embedded in my wrist .

See pain is a beautiful distraction that causes a reaction a tingling .

Singling out all the silent shouts the ones that control my doubts .

All the blood i spilt at the hands of my guilt of suffering built on ...

I cant remember anything i enjoyed , i just feel so annoyed !

I was 8 when you left , i had my chance to say goodbye but i didn't understand.

That you wouldn't be by my side , i was so naive i thought you were on a school trip .

I tried not to cry because people saw my situation as weakness so i learned to speak less .

It not like they could bring you back .

So i packed away everything that made...

i'm not gonna be on for awhile id say it to recover but that's far from true not sure you can fully ever recover from mental health life is just tough but on the bright side ill have a lot to catch up reading when im back . that if idk it feel wrong to try again but im ready more than ive ever been and i don't see my family caring and i know people will worry well mainly the people trying to suppo...