I've been trying to lay down the lie that i said goodbye .

I promised i move on when you were gone but its too heavy i cant stay steady.

I wasn't ready to face the truth and maybe i still haven't come to terms with your death .

I feel everyone concern again like i'm stuck in a loop of spaghetti hoops .

Waiting for them to consume the doom with a silver spoon .

Maybe they wouldn't take a bite if they knew i was alright ?

But let be real they have no clue , why i feel so blue !

I never spoke to ease the pain it just felt lame .

To express why i want to feel less .

To start to rebuild when you were killed .

I wear a smile so people don't see i'm stuck in denial .

Too consumed by the loss to even care , it just isn't fair !