Everyone around me seems fine

Their joints don’t pop

don’t ache

Don’t bother

I try to keep it hidden sometimes

But its hard to hide a chronic illness

Its like an elephant in the room

Just today I learned something new

Every joint had been affected but one

And now my jaw hurts too

It started with my ankles

When I tripped and fell in tap shoes

Tiles floor and metal shoes

Not a good mix

for my ankles

That had not fully developed

And for years

It was just my ankles

Constant aches

And pains

And asking for it to go away

Then came my knees

It hurt so much more

Because it sometimes made it hard to walk

I can move my knee cap around

And bend it too far back

Then my hips

Which dislocate all the time

It hurts like hell

But sometimes people say it can’t be that

And it make my anger swell

Then my back

Consistently stiff

Consistently popping

And hurting if held in the same position

Then my neck

crack crack crack

“shouldn’t do that”

But it hurts if i don’t crack it

so what am I to do

Then my fingers

It hurts to write, so i usually type

It hurts to stay in one position

They hurt in every joint

it really sucks

Then my shoulders and elbows

Not often

But enough to be a bug

and when they hurt

It really hurts

and they never come alone

Then my wrists

Have at least 4 braces

Can’t cut most of my own food anymore

And it hurts to write anything really

Then today I discovered my jaw

Pops and dislocates

Constant discomfort

I hate it

I hate it

I hate it

And thats just the joints

there is so much more

But I don’t want to be a bore

so I end it on these notes

I amnot faking it

I am not making it up

I would chose to get rid of it if i could

Its more a burden to me than to you

So maybe be accepting and accessible

instead of being rude

I don’t like the way my joints are

My whole body in fact

I wish It could stay in one piece;intact

I wish I could stand without seeing stars

I wish I did not always feel like passing out

I wish I had the right amount of blood

And I wish i didn’t have to check my blood sugar

I wish my heartrate would not spike

And i wish i wasn’t always nervous

I wish my jounts would stay together

Why do i deserve this?

I wish I wasn’t always changing temperature

And I wish I had energy

I wish I didn’t cry at everything

And I wish I could be more fun

But the illnesses take the stage

There is so much more I could reveal

But I will choose be kind and just say

Its so much worse than it seems