Chapter 4: “How to Handle Conflict Like a Rabid Raccoon”

From the best-selling book: “Crush Life (And Maybe a Few Relationships)” by Chad “AlphaStorm” Braggins

Let’s be real—conflict is for losers. And winners. Mostly winners, because we’re the ones who START IT.

Someone cuts you in line?

Growl. Show dominance.

Bonus points if you’re holding a protein shake.

Roommate didn’t do the dishes?

Replace their shampoo with mayonnaise. This teaches accountability and gives them shinier hair. You’re welcome.

Your boss criticizes your work?

Laugh in their face. If possible, slowly eat a banana during the meeting without breaking eye contact. Assert power through potassium.

Now, if you’re thinking, “Chad, this sounds insane and possibly illegal,” congratulations! That’s your fear talking. Muzzle it.

The key to conflict resolution is never resolving anything.

Instead:

Escalate fast.

Yell louder than everyone.

Exit dramatically (smoke bombs optional but encouraged).

If things really go south, remember the golden rule: Blame Jeff.

There’s always a Jeff. Be faster than him.

—

Affirmation of the Day:

“I am a cyclone of success. Everyone else is just loose trash in my path.”

Log on next time for the next chapter of my self help vlog!

- Chad “AlphaStorm” Braggins

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ALSO- it’s my 50th writing on Daily Prompts! Yay! I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has supported me on here and kept me posting! Love y’all!