I didn’t mean to kill him!

It wasn’t me, it was them!

I couldn’t see, it was sorta dim!

I promise I didn’t have the knife!

Listen to me, I didn’t take his life!

I’m telling you, it was his wife!

Officer:

How do you know?

Killed with a kitchen knife?

Tell me, or into jail you go!

Now, did you take his life?!

Me:

I’d tell you, but you judge!

You’re not listening to me!

I mean, what the fudge?!

Can’t you clearly see!

It wasn’t me!

It was she!

I didn’t do it!

Officer:

Tell me what you did.

C’mon, you’re a kid!

You blew your lid—

That’s what you did!

Me:

When he came in the room.

He was holding her tight.

Trust me when I say—

It just wasn’t right!

He told me he didn’t love her.

He told me he forgot about it.

There was nothing left there.

Should’ve known I’d throw a fit!

I told him he was wrong.

Cheating on her with me.

Now don’t you see?!

I did it because I loved him.

I guess I hugged too tight.

He was always sorta dim.

And we got into a fight.

Officer:

Tell me from the start;

How did this happen?

How’d he break your heart?

Me:

He took her out on a date.

I waited outside ‘til it got late.

I was so mad that when he came in,

I opened up his gut to see what he ate.

And listen, I made her watch her mate.

I know it’s wrong, but it’s his true fate.

And let me tell you, I strung her up.

She whined, begged like a small pup.

So I put her blood in a plastic cup.

Listen to my story,

It needs its glory.

Though it’s quite gory.

I slit her throat,

Watched her body float.

Until the dirty tub ran over.

That’s what I did to her.

Now you know, sir.

What do you think?