Calm, collected, knowing

That’s what you see

On the surface of me

But what’s happening

Beneath the surface?

Come and see

I’m not calm

Anxious, scared worried

Those three words describe me

I’m not collected

My brain is scattered

Completely and utterly scattered

I’m not knowing

I’m clueless

On what to do and say

That’s beneath the surface

I’ll keep wearing the mask

You never have to know my real feelings

In real life

No one sees the

_Real_ me

They see the

Mask I put on

To be **normal**

Online

People also don’t see

The _real _me

They see a

Carefully crafted

Version of me

I’m the only one

Who sees

The _real_ me

Crazy, loud, quiet

Weird, magic-believing, creative

Dark, somtimes dirty, fun loving

**_Me

_**They don’t know

How many meals I skip

Because I’m ‘busy’ or ‘not hungry’

They don’t know

How many times I’ve ignored

Because people don’t care

They don’t know

How long I stay in my fictional worlds

Because there feels like home more than my actual house does

They don’t know

How much I talk to myself

Because I need a friend

They don’t know

How much pain I’m going through

When I’m so alone and lonely

They don’t know

About my struggling in pain

Because I don’t let them see

All of that

Is beneath the surface

Hidden under my carefully crafted mask