Well fuck.

Letting my grades slip

Not doing my homework

Drawing on the bathroom walls

Cutting myself again

What am I doing?

It’s like I’m prepared

For my life to be over

Or at least to run away

But I haven’t run away yet

What the fuck is up with me?

Trying to write lyrics

Avoiding the mirror at all costs

Reading during lunch to forget

The knawing of my appetite

**What the fuck am I do...

America is not safe-

Never was

I don’t feel safe

Going to school-

Haven’t for a long time

I see the news

And I think about

How a political activist got shot

On the same day

A child shot himself

Leaving 2 maybe more in the hospital

And I don’t feel safe

Knowing that in

My country

This can happen

And it does happen

All. The. Time.

We are progressing backwards

I think we all know that

We are...

I’m gonna write a poem

With no words for you

No more praise

No more fucking prose

I’m gonna write a song

Without thinking of you

And the heart(head)ache it brings

Your name that hurts when it rings

I swear to motherfucking god

I’m gonna write a poem

And it is NOT going to be

About you.

It’s words won’t be

Twisted and scraped

Over our guts/spun into oblivion/dulled like a knife

And **th...

Your smell will linger in my life I’m sure. Whenever I go to the library and see a new nonfiction book about aliens or some other weird shit it will smell like you. Whenever I pick those flowers you like I will smell your hair dye-still under my sink. I will see it and smell your hands applying a streak to my hair to match you.

You taste will too. Whenever I see stars I will taste your whiskey br...

(I’m doing it again I love music)

time passes

and I wonder if you like me

but then we walk together to do morning announcements

and I guess we’re dating

but we don’t go on dates

and I really fucking miss when you paid attention to me

time has a grip on me

choking me slowly

i want you

but what if our time

is running out

what if

i don’t wake up tomorrow

or you don’t

and we die like this

stuck in li...

I got a compliment on my outfit today

By a girl I didn’t even know

I think she’s new this year

And I wish I knew her name

But I don’t think she’s in any of my classes

And- I realize

This isn’t an uncommon occurrence anymore

It wasn’t like the time two years ago

When I wore a new sweater

And a girl complimented it

And I never wore it again

Because I was scared

I’ve been working on my posture

Tryi...

If rotting flowers can still smell sweet

So could human bodies, I’d think....

(Tw: SH, mentions of suicide)

The wind blows my hair. I’m standing on the edge again. The edge of relapsing and sticking up a middle finger at getting better. The edge where if I fall I will drown in my own blood while simultaneously pulling the rope to tighten everyone close to me’s nooses.

I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be broken.

I miss my uncle.

He’d know a fucking lot about tighten...

Connie glances at the sky, feeling tired. She’s tired of a lot of things. Freedom and M3, all they did to try and save the world, it’s all a waste. It’s raining again.

It’s done that a lot lately. Apparently a world flooded with poison still has normal weather, or, semi normal.

Droplets fall on her cheek, and she’s tempted to take off her mask and breathe in the scent. She can’t though. She kno...

(Another one I wrote around half a year ago. + a rewrite I’m doing now. Went through an old notebook recently.)

Theres something

Inside of me

Tearing me apart

From the inside

Turning my insides

Into mush

And consuming them.

I think it might

Be

Me.

Rewrite:

There is something

Crawling inside of me

I can feel it writhing

Under my skin

Tearing me apart

From my own heart

Turning ...