(Just a warning, this is a little longer than I originally thought it was going to be…)

Dear diary,

I have done something unimaginable, the exact opposite of what my profession stands for. I’m supposed to heal, to nurse patients into the greatest they can be. But trust me when I say, the greatest this person could be was gone.

See, I had walked into the room where he was being ...

Syringe… Heartbeat… Lost… that’s all I can think about today. Because if I think about anything else I start to… NO.

No. No. No. No.

I don’t want to think about it. Any of it. Why is fate so cruel?

I shouldn’t have had to.

No parent should have to.

No parent should have to operate on…

No parent should be asked…

_-_-

I remember the first time I held my daughter. I was unspeakably nervo...

Entry 7 - February 6th 2023

I walk into the hospital ready to work. The smell of latex and rubbing alcohol fills my nostrils as I sign in and walk to one of the patient’s rooms. As I walked, I pass patients lined up in the waiting room. Many of them with children who’s crying filled the room. I close my eyes and sigh as I knock on the patient’s door. As soon as I heard confirmation to allow mysel...

A life in my hand,

Syringe in the other,

And not just any man,

No, not a brother,

This heartbeat I feel,

This, I try to keep,

If I ever lost it,

Forever I’d weep,

A heart is so big,

I can’t lose his,

Steady the syringe,

Act in control so I don’t

Have to feel this,

Beep

…

Beep

…

Beep

…

Go the desperate beats,

But I must focus my mind,

_Pay_ no mind to who is under

These plastic sheets,

Wor...

Dear Diary,

Today was another especially tough day, as yet another patient slipped away from us. His vitals were abnormally low, so I used the syringe to pump some vital fluids into his body, but my efforts were in vain. His heartbeat grew more and more frantic and at this point, I, along with the rest of the nurses and doctors in the room, knew he had lost the battle against his illness, and tha...

I hurriedly shoved the IV in her vein there was no time to put it in the bag let alone a pill, the Heparin should be working soon. We should see a change any second; it got worse. There was blood everwhere. I saw Dr. Bigelow glance at the tray next to me, I saw the look in his eyes and knew before he had the composure to ask me. By then I had grabbed the vial off of the tray nearly breaking it in...

The EMTs were doing chest compressions and connecting IVs and everything in their power to keep their chief alive.

“The epi syringe!”

His partner was already ripping the packaging open. She gave the shot right into the chief’s arm ignoring the IV port.

“Still no heartbeat. We’re gonna lose him!”

“Pads are on. Ready to shock.”

“I’m clear.”

“Shocking!”

“We’ve got a heartbeat....

I always wanted to save people.

Save them in ways they could never imagine.

Flying from rooftop to rooftop, punching and thrashing at a villian.

Pushing a syringe into my elderly patient had to do.

He was nice enough, always using manners and making me smile. He was a bright spot in my day, the patient I looked forward to see.

But I was never prepared for the days I would dread visiting him.

...

4am just hit, my feet are sore, my eyes are heavy and all I want is my bed. I have one last set of meds to pass before my shift ends and I can already hear three of my patients hollering my name. “My back hurts, I need my pain medicine!” “I need more ice for my cup!” “I cant find my call light.” It never stops, sometimes, I dont understand why I chose this job. I never dreamed of becoming a nurse....

**December 24th, 1963**

The beeping of the heart monitor filled the room, each pulse louder than the last, like a drumbeat that couldn’t be ignored. I stood by the bed, syringe in hand, my breath shallow, my heart racing. The patient’s condition had deteriorated so quickly—one moment they were stable, the next, it felt like everything was slipping through my fingers. The seconds were slipping by ...