Dear Grace,

I do not think I had fully understood the extent to which I valued our friendship until I watched it dissolve before my very eyes.

I believe I always expected it to fail, to fall apart at its fickle foundations, but I did not expect it to hurt as it did.  My chest still pangs whenever you give me that polite, closed-mouthed smile you save for strangers, because I know there was a tim...

Dear G____,

You found me in a dark space

And kept me company

But I want to get lighter now

The weight in my chest is heavy

And you pretend it isn’t there

Because we both know

You caused it

You don’t like that I read and write

I defer from the normal

And you hate

That I’m okay with that

And you hate

How others who like me are ok with that.

I want to move up in my life

But you pull me back down...

If you could only know how happy I was to see you today. I had been waiting for this day since you told me you were going back to school. The day that I would finally be able to see you again. When you left that day broke me. You were cool and interesting and new to me. Like a difficult puzzle that you don’t know anything about but it still drags you to solving it. I wanted to connect and learn mo...

Dearest Best Friend,

you’ve long waited for me to fall in love, and it really does pain me to tell you this, it won’t happen.

there are no ifs ands or buts because it is simply that simple: it just won’t happen.

i mean, i very much would like to love someone romantically, but i believe that might be out of my skill set.

and quite frankly i’ve changed my mind on if im taking her to the formal, ...

Note: This is something I wrote a long time ago, in like early October of 2024… the date on the doc says 10/6/2024. Do I still feel this way? It’s gotten better, but there are definitely still moments where I come back to this mindset & I can’t see anything else, bc well, I got my stubbornness from the parent in this letter. Anyways.

________________________________________

Dear Parent,

Listen....

Sometimes I imagine us in another life.

We’d be in the same grade, and we’d have more moments to talk every day. We wouldn’t have only seconds to convey our thoughts to each other, worrying about getting to class on time. I’d have the pleasure of looking into your eyes and seeing every wonderful though behind them.

We’d be in English class, or maybe Algebra. The hour and a half that passed wou...

Thank you. Thank you for ruining my life for two months. Three months. Four months.

W/out you, I never would’ve hit a major depression in my life. W/out you, I wouldn’t be here rn, having had the opportunity to discover a new identity in myself.

W/out you, I would’ve gone down a much different path. I’m not sure I would even be w/ you guys, in the sense that I would be w/ my family & not on vaca...

I want to know what we are.

Friends or more than that?

I know that you’re suspicious about my feelings.

But here I want to say that it’s true:

I do love you.

However, there’s one uncertainty,

I think that you like me back the same

Although I think you consider me as a stranger

Meaning you can easily walk through me

As if I am invisible to your eye.

I want to know what you feel about me

Friends o...

Hey!

I know this may seem sudden, but I had to say it. Honsetly it’s been nagging at me ever since we started messeing each other. Your an amazing guy, a beautiful person, and you have a heart that is so fierce and on fire for life. I like you. A lot. I have for about a year now. I didn’t even think you noticed me, then you did. You’ve made me feel loved and seen like I’ve never felt before. I...

I have always wanted you. I wanted you the moment you first blessed me with your fair face; I will want you still as I lay weak and trembling in my final hour. I want you despite your callousness, your failures and trials and griefs and frustrations. I want you foolishly, with the entirety of my tired being, knowing my life would be easier if I did not. I want you as the common man wants for l...