How many failures

until I decide it’s not meant for me?

Maybe it’s time to hold a moment of silence

for the dreams I once carried.

How many times can I fall

before my hands stop reaching for the ground?

What crushes me most

isn’t the failure—

but the time I can’t get back.

The shame of being wrong. Again.

I’m terrified I’ll be running,

always chasing,

never reaching the finish line.

It breaks...

My chest is heavy

Tears left unshed

I know you will read this

So don’t feel bad

It’s not your fault

I feel in love

Your still my friend

Supportive of me

Your sweet and kind

A cute nerd

I don’t want to scare

Or make you care

Your discomfort

Is not my aim

I’m just being honest

Even though I’m afraid

It hurts to know I have

No chance

But I’ll be fine

In the end

Just stay by my side

As my friend...

You say you love me

That’s cool and all

I don’t know how I feel

I need time to think

That much is clear

Labels will only complicate

Maybe later I don’t know

But for now let’s agree

Friends is all we’ll be...

Sickly desire,

Dangerous screaming,

Unwarranted adaption,

Aching lust.

All for consumption.

Is this the sin of gluttony?

Or simply a consequence of my succumbing desire for ecstacy.

One fine powder,

Quiet different from the powder you patted on your flawless face.

One gram,

And then another,

Impressively strong

And addicting.

But I shall succumb no more,

I won’t give in....

i know

that you

love him today

but maybe

tomorrow

you’ll give me

a try for

your

love

except you

don’t like me

as such a lover

because i

am not

him

but maybe

the rejection

is just

a secret kind

of

love

in which

you deny yourself

my love

and deny

me

yours

so please

don’t refuse

me

next time

i ask you

out

because i

am worth a shot

as much as he was...

Answer or not

Cried and lives

Thought to said

Different is important

Pretend it never happened

…

🫀...

I stare at the food,

My mind immediately rejects

The thought of savoring

Something so damaging.

I feel no hunger anymore,

The pain has been consumed.

I reject the horrors that will come

And bite the pain anew.

I am numb with confusion,

These words do not add up.

I will reject my image

Until I am enough....

Needle piercing my skin

Warm blood dripping down

Organs, pink and functioning

Living

Piercing resurfacing to the thinnest layer of skin

Getting infected

Rejected

Organs shutting down, broken

And brown

Organs failing

Rejecting life

Hair prosperous and healthy.

Skin shining in the sun

Hair falling out and brittle

Skin crusty, cracking

Falling off...

She steps on the scale.

Just for extra precautions.

In case of extra measures.

When she wakes up,

When she sleeps.

In her dreams, there’s a woman or two.

Slender, with fat dripping down, her skin flapping, she’s a bird flying to the sun.

There’s a woman,

She is ever so large, plummeting down to her.

She wakes up, and doesn’t take a deep breath, she walks over to her scale.

It’s m...

I’m sorry Father.

I am, father.

For my father, I will ignore.

For his Father, I will sweat.

And as a bead of sweat rolls down my head.

I’ll look down.

Perhaps up.

I will sweat into the pool of Holiness.

My reflection staring back at me.

Hands interrupting our contact as they splash water into my face.

My eyes closed shut,

My mouth gaping for air,

My mother frowning.

I’m f...