Gratitude.

What a strange word.

What is there to be grateful for in such a harsh, biting world?

Maybe it’s the temporary friendships that bring the temporary happiness.

Maybe it’s the Sunday morning church services.

Maybe it’s remembering times of happy families laughing in firelight.

Today, I choose to be grateful for a number of things God’s doing for me.

The way He’s given me a comforting dog...

(this is abt friendship breakups)

Y’know, sometimes i womder what made her do it. Why she cut me off. Maybe i wasn’t good enough, maybe i wasn’t enough of a people pleaser. There might’ve been signs. I was too busy wrapped up in myself to notice, though. I was too busy posting immature comments on the internet while she was silently battling her will to live and love. I was too available, too uno...

(IM BACK YALL!! HAD SOME TRAUMA SO NOW ITS TIME TO WRITE ABT IT)

I got a blast from the past today

It was you, of course, all my memories are of you

A waitress, tattooed with a symbol from a movie you cherished so deeply

It brought me back

Back to you, our friendship, and now the crushed ruins of it all

The waitress, who unknowingly sparked a flurry of thoughts of you in my head

It wasn’t her...

Memories were something of a scare factor

A concept we used to terrify children into obedience

Memories were so warped, they became obsolete

Memories were lesser used for remembrance and instead used for blackmail

People no longer valued memories

They weren’t just parts of history, they were in valued fragments of one’s life

Humans stopped bothering with remembering because it caused more pain ...

(this writing is basically a diary entry <3)

I stared off into the abyss, or more so the sticky floor of this house party. My ability to socialize drained away hours ago, so I’m alone again.

It seems that people only want me when I’m functioning correctly. Like a product. Like a toy. People never want the imperfect versions of each other, even though we all have them. Did I mention I get extrem...

Birthdays were days we all dreaded. A reminder of what we’d lost. After the War of the Worlds, everything was bleak and gray. The people we mourn showed up everywhere, in spirit form, allowed by the people of the Western World.

On birthdays, whether it be your own or that of a lost loved one, you do nothing. No celebrations. If a Western soldier caught a birthday party occurring, they’d shoot de...

The ride away was brutal. Soul-crushing, even. It ruined me to leave her, but I had to keep pushing it into my brain that I was doing it for her.

She wouldn’t thrive living with a monster like me. I supposed that’s what I want myself, and her, to think. It was easier that way. If she hated me, maybe I could live with my horrid decisions, rather than if she still loved me all the while I left wit...

(this writing is entirely based off dean winchester, my comfort character forever <3)

I wish I could say that my failure didn’t bother me

That the fact I’ve failed my father and Sammy all doesn’t burn down my throat as I swallow it

The pent up years of anger and resentment are coming back to haunt me, for the worst this time

They’re ruining me

My relationship with Sam

I don’t know how to stop thi...

The fog was charming, in a depressing sense of the word. Yet, it also sent a wave of peace down my back as I lie face up in the field.

It casted calming shadows over the willow trees, the dainty flowers, and the deer frolicking in the forest. It made everything around me seem so utterly angelic that it felt unreal.

As I watched the fog float through the air, it seemed to have taken my mind off...

My awakening was like rain harping on a metal rooftop, or a man raising his hand to the innocent. My awakening jolted me in to a whole new state of being.

It transformed me in ways that I am beginning to fear were harmful. It changed me. My whole being. Flipped, in a matter of seconds. The shock of the defibrillator paddles against my chest. I’m in horror of this new self.

I’m seemingly out of...