I have a confession

I hate asking for help

I hate physical touch

I feel needy

I feel annoying sometimes

I feel like a let down

I feel like I don’t have a true group of friends

I feel like I am a side character

I feel like people don’t notice me

I feel alone sometimes

I feel like I can’t express my self

I cry when their is no one around

I like to be dependent

I sometimes feel like I want validation

Sometimes I want a hug

But afraid of the feeling of them

Sometimes I feel like know one wants to talk

Sometimes I feel left out

Sometimes I feel frozen in time

Sometimes I feel like I am a punching bag

Sometimes I feel I am only there for people to complain to

Sometimes I wish I could just be me

Sometimes I feel as I am a burden know one wants to see

I am an extrovert

But yet I like to be quiet

I don’t like to express my opinions

I put everything behind my smile

I pretend im fine

When I don’t feel fine

I say sorry a lot

Even when I didn’t do anything

I feel like it’s my fault

I feel like an asshole for not

Being able to comfort people

I don’t know how to do it

I can say words

But I can never get it right

I hide everything

I lie about my feelings

I think thoughts

But I never do anything

I hide my pain

Cause I’m afraid to express it

Or that others have worse that me

Or that they don’t want to hear it

Why do I push all my emotions

Into a little tiny vial

In the back of my mind

But yet

I am happy to

I like to smile

I like to have joy and love

So is there a name for this

I hate asking help

But I need it

(I will edit this whenever I feel)