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How do you know when it’s getting bad again?

Because I don’t know how to tell

It’s starting to close in

But I am not sure at what rate

I don’t know if I need to escape

How do you know it’s getting bad again?

How do you know its getting bad again?

Is it when you can’t ho out in public

Without exhaustion

When you cant see another person

Without shutting down and shutting out

How do you know its getting bad again?

How do you know it’s getting bad again?

Is it when you start skipping meals without intention?

Or don’t eat your first meal until 4pm

When you keep skipping lunch

And your parents start to ask you why it is such

How do you know its getting bad again?

How do you know when its getting bad again?

Is it when your favorite things

Sometimes seem to feel like a chore

When things you adore

Are weighted ankles to the ground

How do you know its getting bad again?

How do you know its getting bad again?

Is it when you check your body in the mirror every time you change

And fight of the urge to check your weight at the end of the day

How do you know its getting bad again?

How do you know it’s getting bad again?

Is it when you start searching excercise plans

And diets up again

Because you can’t seem to be comfortable in your own skin

How do you know it’s getting bad again?

How do you know it’s getting bad again?

Is it when you put off washing your hair

Because you are too tired

And end up feeling disgusting

And so utterly wired

How do you know its getting bad again?

How do you know its getting bad again?

Is it when you don’t want to text back your very few friends?

Or when all conversations seem to meet false ends

with you saying you are fine

How do you know its getting bad again?

How do you know its getting bad again?

Is it when you start over analyzing

Every persons actions

Or escape to the bathroom

When things get too loud

How do you know its getting bad again?

How do you know its getting bad again?

Is it when you start questioning your sexuality

Even with a label over your head

Or is it when you convince your self

That your faking for attention

From anyone who dares to listen

How do you know its getting bad again?

How do you know its getting bad again?

Is it when laundry piles up

And sheets are yet to be washed

When cleaning feels like an expense

rather than a bore

How do you know its getting bad again?

How do you know its getting bad again?

Is it when you play music to drown out your droning thoughts

Or look up what’s wrong with you

Is it when you stare at your ceiling

Wondering how to make it better

How do you know when it’s getting bad again?