STORY STARTER

Submitted by Maranda Quinn

"Let’s skip the pleasantries, shall we? You and I both know we’re not here for small talk.”

Write a story that includes this line of speech.

Another Damsel In Distress

**_(Not my best work, it’s kinda more of a stubborn argument than anything. Please give feedback.) _**

Rook tried to smile when the woman entered the dimly lit tavern.

Yes, she was beautiful. No, there was no sign of evil in those sea-blue eyes. She just looked as if it were his job to solve her problems, which most people think.

“Let’s skip the pleasantries, shall we?” Rook tried to twist his lips into his default smirk, but it only turned into a grimace. “You and I both know we’re not here for small talk.”

“It was terrible!” The woman whined, sitting down dramatically.

He grit his teeth. Instead of answering, he called for beer from a bartender. Luckily the tavern was mostly empty, except for the lonely souls hidden in shadows, so his mug arrived quickly.

Rook took a swig, as the woman continued.

“H-he looked me up and down, then began to follow me down the streets!” Her accent was so annoying.

He sighed, “Can you stop whatever that is?” He motioned a hand vaguely towards her.

The damsel raised a brow, “What?”

“Acting like the world’s going to end.” Rook growled harshly, taking another swig from his tankard and leaning back in his chair.

“Well, maybe mine will!” She yelled defensively, obviously offended.

He laughed, “Then why am I dealing with that?”

The woman was silent. Finally, silence.

“You’re supposed to help people! That’s your job!” She managed after only a few seconds of quiet.

He knew that. But he was supposed to solve crimes, not a pair of wondering eyes. There had been way too many of these complaints. Complaints! Not anything serious, just the minor thing that alters someone’s mood slightly. The kind of problem someone like him didn’t care about!

“Fine.” He breathed after finishing his beer. “What did he do after that?”

“He was planning something! Something big!” Her eyes went wide once more, her hand resting on her forehead theatrically.

Rook placed his feet on the table and crossed them, is hands behind his head. Luckily his boots blocked her face. “I’m planning something too. Planning on cutting my hair, it’s getting too long don’t you think?”

That’s when she stormed out of the tavern. Peace.

Comments 8

Aylin Beckett

a day ago

I loved this conversation. Each character has this personality that I would love to come back to read more of. If you’re wanting feedback, the only thing I would suggest is in that last bigger paragraph where he says he is planning to cut his hair. The first sentence says ‘is’ instead of ‘his’. And for the question at the end of the paragraph, I would probably put a period after hair and then “It is getting too long. Don’t you think so?” It might make it a bit clearer and flow a little better. Overall, I love this. 💛💛💛

Maranda Quinn

4 days ago

I actually really like this scene. The dim tavern setting paired with Rook’s jaded attitude gives off a gritty, sarcastic feel that works really well. Rook’s voice is consistent throughout, and his dry humor makes him an instantly memorable character. Honestly, he seems like the type of dude I would hang out with. Lol. Love it. I especially liked the line, “I’m planning something too. Planning on cutting my hair…” It perfectly captures his dismissive personality and adds a touch of comedy in the middle of a tense moment.

That said, I noticed you asked for feedback, so I want to be as helpful as I can. There are a few spots that could be clarified or cleaned up. The first sentence — “Rook tried to smile when she entered the dimly lit tavern” — is a little confusing. It almost sounds like Rook is the one entering, or that Rook is the woman. A simple rewording might help, like: “Rook tried to smile as the woman entered the dimly lit tavern.” That clears up the subject and avoids momentary confusion.

The last sentence of that paragraph — “She just looked as if it were his job to solve her problems, which most people think” — feels a little awkward and unfinished. You might try: “She had that look, like fixing her problems was supposed to be his job, just like everyone else seemed to think.” That version keeps the same idea but reads a bit smoother.

There were also a couple of grammar and punctuation issues. In “Rook took a swig, as the woman continued,” the comma is unnecessary and disrupts the sentence flow. It should be: “Rook took a swig as the woman continued.” And “He grit his teeth” should be “He gritted his teeth,” since “gritted” is the proper past tense form.

Overall, it’s a strong and entertaining scene with great voice. A few small edits would make it even sharper. You’re probably a lot like me and just wrote this in a hurry, though. Which is completely and totally understandable lol. Either way, I would totally keep reading about Rook. He’s awesome!🩷

Gwendine Gikshty

4 days ago

I like when things are implied instead of stated outright. Like the ‘finally, silence’ line was great, but it felt repetitive when the silence is described as ‘relieving.’ I really love the writing though, especially the ending with the boots covering her face. It really put me into that character

Aspire to Inspire

4 days ago

Hehehee…. Love it. Ahem… new fictional crush? What? Who said that?

Quill To Page

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