(this one’s about me)

I was just sitting down

Reading my newspaper

When suddenly some guy sits right next to me

Chewing a piece of gum

I’m fine with this

I mean, today has been pretty good

I got to go on a walk with my dog

I got to play some pretty cool video games

I got to sleep in for a bit

I got to watch videos all day

My day was going pretty good

So I was doing alright

Until he kept chewing

Over and over again

That loud chewing noise

Really starting to irk me

But today’s been pretty good

I’ve been happy

I try to ignore it

Just forget about it

But he just won’t stop chewing

And chewing

Swishing his mouth around

Making a loud munching noise

Tapping his tongue against the back of his mouth

Sucking on the flavor of the gum

As he’s chewing on it

Now getting the gum out of his mouth

Playing with it

Twirling it around with his index finger

While still simultaneously chewing on it

Now it REALLY gets on my nerves

Okay, I’ve lost it

I’ve lost it, and I’m now grabbing him

Shaking him like crazy, yelling out

“SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!”