My head is pounding. I shouldn’t have stayed out so late last night, but the bar was pure vibes. The drinks were strong and the people were fun. I just wish my head didn’t feel this way. I think I can make a hangover cure.

As I stumble into my lab and turn on the fluorescent lights, man they are so bright today. I start combinging liquids and solids to create my hangover cure. I think I did it!! It’s a blue liquid, there is B12, ibuprofen, acetaminophen, and a few secret ingredients in it. Time to try it out.

As it goes down my esophagus something doesn’t feel right. I start to choke and cough. My eyes turn red. This isn’t good. My hangover isn’t even cured. I wonder what this just did to me. I look in the mirror and I look normal other than all the red veins in my eyes. Whatever I have to get to work.

They day has gone by and the hangover still persists and my friends asked me out to the bar again and I think maybe a drink will cure my hangover, so I head to the bar. I have a martini and I feel nothing, so I follow it up with a shot of vodka. Still I feel nothing. And then another and another after that. I feel nothing and I am still hungover. I drink for hours and nothing. My friends are plastered and I am sober with a hangover. What is going on? I just need to get some sleep.

I wake up the next morning and still hungover, did I really drink that much last night and not feel anything? The receipt from the bar definitely says that I drink a lot last night. I am going to try and drink again tonight and see if I can feel anything. As I get to the bar, I am still hungover and after a night of drinking I am still sober.

The conclusion is obvious to me. Whatever the blue liquid I drank to cure the hangover has made me forever hungover and I can never feel the effects of alcohol again.