I was only

Temporary

I will always be

Temporary

I will come and go and

Temporarily

I will feel that I belong.

For so long

I have wanted to run away

Probably won’t ever see the day

But I have a guitar

And a book

And a backpack

And $35 in cash.

The actual _want_ of it is

Temporary in my mind

I love my family

And I love my band

And I love my library.

I spent a whole evening looking up bindings tips

That feeling (dysphoria?)

Is always temporary

Yesterday it felt worse

Maybe the first time I’ve truly not felt

That I belonged in my own body.

I tried a few and at first

I felt comfortable

But that comfort

Is only

Temporary.

Afterwards my back

Hurt.

I don’t know who I am

Anymore

I exist in a state of

Temporary

Nothing stays the same

I long to leave

I need to stay

I feel like

No one knows me

I feel

So goddamned lonely.

That loneliness

Is

**_Not

_**Temporary.

My existence

Can

Be.

I need

An

Escape.

I am only temporary.