how do i feel?

please tell me

i dont know

there’s a smile on

my face and a hole

in my chest.

there’s a light within

my eyes and a lack

of it within my mind.

because what do i do

when you ask who i like?

because obviously

i like you.

and you obviously

don’t like me.

i’m doomed aren’t i?

to love the one who

will never love me.

because what do i do

when there’s a brother who hates me?

because im buried

within my mind and music

and then he’s

bugging me

unprovoked.

i’m doomed aren’t i?

to a sibling who doesn’t like me,

even though i did nothing.

because what do i do

when a father doesn’t let me cry?

because it’s a panic attack

and he says to get a grip and stop before

i wake someone else up

i’m doomed aren’t i?

to a father who doesn’t seem to know

what to do, and decides to go with scolding.

because what do i do

when a friend is growing away?

because i cant live without her,

but it seems she doesnt need me.

i’m doomed

aren’t i?