I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t say it right now.

"Ayan— I-I-"

Ayan turns to me with that same grin he always has. "Yeah?"

"I think—…" I swallow. "I think I love you."

He freezes. "What?"

My eyes widen. "Uh-Nothing. Nothing. So I’m going to head back to out-" I turn around and just as I touch the door handle, he grabs my wrist and kisses me.

Ayan. Khan. Is _kissing_ me.

I cba writing...

This was it. I had to get out of here. It wasn’t because I didn’t fit in- I never fit in. It was all because of the rumor. The stupid rumor that started the beginning of the end.

It was meant to be a harmless joke. I was annoyed that he seemed just so damn happy all the time. He got his work done on time with zero complaints, he seemed to have plenty of friends and then I discover his family had...

His blood ushes out into the young woman’s hands. She has tears running down her youthful cheekbones, smearing the mask of paint on her face. Blackness smears on her under eyes.

She shouts and screams for help, trying to hold the blood in from what she was taught. “Adelio, stay with me.” She says between gasping cries. His pale, deathly skin, his brown eyes slowly losing his spark, his pursed li...

I can’t say it now.

I can’t say it ever.

This is humiliating!

I want it to be, but this isn’t love in the making.

Fantasizing will get my nowhere.

My confidence is the size of a hair.

What if you don’t actually care?

What if you think I’m joking?

What if you’re joking?

It’s constant mixed signals.

I can’t determine anything anymore.

I want it to be love.

I want you.

I want to tell you.

Bu...

I knew i’d regret it if i didn’t say it right now,

but how do I say I love you to a person that may not love me back?

Even if he doesn’t feel the same, even if he does,

how do I say my feelings.

My feelings for someone who is to good for me,

everything I could ever want or need plus more.

I know I will regret it if I don’t say it now,

I know no matter what we will miss eachother,

if the day eve...

"I’m not in the mood," I exhale, feeling the heavy figure against my chest as his hands explore my body. They freeze. He shifts his weight and takes my hand in his, soothing.

I let myself drown in his ocean eyes full of sweetness and adoration. He softly kisses my cheek.

"Thank you for telling me" he reassures.

"I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t say it right now"

"Good, I want you to talk to me." ...

“I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t say it right now.”

My voice echoing through the air, making my words loud and ugly.

“You are such a piece of shit. You know that?!” He begans to storm down the cellar to his room, until I grab his arm. “I know you want to just run away but just-“ I paused for a moment.

“Listen, for the love of god, listen to me even if you hate me and don’t care to listen just.” M...

“I knew I’d regret it if I didn't say it right now.”

“I can't. You know I can't…”

“Because you promised?” I yell hysterically. We'd been over this many times, and I respected him for it, but I could not keep going back and forth.

So I tell him, “This needs to end, Finn.”

I feel tears leaking from my eyes, falling down my cheeks as he says the words that I had feared for weeks. But as he says ...

I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t say it right now. Yet somehow my nerves felt even more on edge once I did. I’ve said it to her a dozen times before, though she probably never heard me, why does it have to feel so different now?

“You love me?” She replied finally. She was staring at me, not in her usual curious way but with genuine shock. Had she really not known this whole time?

I took in a shar...

TW: Violence, death

Part two—POV: The fool

Never in my life did I believe joy was meant for someone like me—someone who has stained this world with blood and grief. I have killed. I have bled. I have caused suffering. And yet, here it is. A sliver of joy, carefully hidden away, meant for me.

_Her_.

The most beautiful soul I’ve ever laid eyes on, the only one I wish to look at. I can’t even recall...