paper mache & sourdough bread

the card your granddaughter made you for your birthday covered in glitter and modge podge

and your smile

the scarf your mom knit you because it’s cold in new york at christmas and the quilt your bestfriend sewed out of scraps

and your laugh

the sand candles your aunt made on the beach and the bathbombs your sister made that fizzle a little extra

the song your b...

…but where is my happiness?

it must be lost or forgotten.

it got tossed like a checked bag from one plane to the next - lost somewhere along the way.

i had it with me when i got to the airport and somewhere between flights and delays and layovers i lost it.

or maybe it got stolen? the airport clerk didn’t seem to know. they said we’ll give you $500 for everything you’ve lost though.

it didn’t...

the scream

it’s been bubbling

and brewing

i can feel it climbing up my throat

clawing its way up

and then it stops

i swallow the scream;

down

down

down

somewhere deep within myself in a place it will never be found

and then the next scream starts clawing like nails on a chalk board but it’s ripping through my flesh.

the scream is tearing me apart from the inside out.

begging

please

please hea...

when the stars fell they started bursting down. golden sparks, sizzling and cracking on their way down.

all the stars fell the night you fell. a crash. a burn. a skid mark. a spark.

crashing.

crumpling.

the stars fell

you fell

they came down

and you went up...

Are we truly unique, or are we mosaics of everyone we’ve ever known?

If I’m honest, I’d like to believe the latter.

I want a home like my grandma’s where there’s always a seat at the table, and no one has to wonder if they belong.

I want to cook like my mom—never asking if you’re hungry, just setting a place in front of you certain that you are.

I want to be as free as my husband always was,...

it’s so quiet you could hear a pin drop, not to mention the creak in the floor when you walk.

it’s too quiet to even talk. the dreadful silence so loud all i can hear are my own thoughts.

the dreadful silence comes without a knock, never leaves — & certainly doesn’t watch the clock.

i wish i could make them all stop.

imagine giving a voice to each one of your thoughts —

anne’s always angry...

I never was an early riser, but that day that morning for you I was

My eyes opened before the sunlight hit my sleepy eyelids

The morning driving to donuts to watch the planes fly high in the sky before the sun came alive

Streams of light spilling across the dashboard into the front seat across your eyes

A smile with teeth but from you that was never a surprise

I was never an early riser, ...

“Take it all!” She screamed at the sky

Time is ticking by

Time would soon say goodbye

There she would be

Time would have ticked by

There she would be, screaming up at that same sky

Teardrops

Telescopes

Thermometers and throats

Telegraphs and talks

Taco times and Tuesday nights

Tarps and tents

Talents and tea

Tantalizingly beautiful was he

They were taintless & talkative

Tik tok goes the ...

They didn’t need words when it came to each other.

They lived in a silence that left them feeling known.

The kind of silence like when your too tired or too sad to voice the words.

The kind of silence that is usually met with awkward, “it’ll be okay’s” and “I promise it’ll get better’s”.

The thing about silence is people run from it. They do the best to fill it with empty words, and half heart...

Some beauty you can only see in the dark.

The raw unapologetic kind.

There’s vulnerability in darkness, and only the lucky ones get to bare witness.

The unafraid ones.

The ones who will stop at nothing to feel the darkness envelop them, in hopes of getting a glimpse of the stars.

Some say vulnerability looks a lot like darkness. But… Don’t you think, vulnerability looks a lot like stars?

They...