it’s so quiet you could hear a pin drop, not to mention the creak in the floor when you walk.

it’s too quiet to even talk. the dreadful silence so loud all i can hear are my own thoughts.

the dreadful silence comes without a knock, never leaves — & certainly doesn’t watch the clock.

i wish i could make them all stop.

imagine giving a voice to each one of your thoughts —

anne’s always angry, and bobs always bold. carla’s cunning, and debra’s devious, erin’s effervescent, franks fictitious, greg’s gorgeous, harriet’s humming, and ian’s infinite, jean is jamming, karen’s kickin, and liam’s loopy, mac is moony, and nicks a nuisance, ophelia’s optimistic, and patricia’s plummeting, quinn’s quirky, and reeds running, stellas spontaneous, and tuckers tired, ursula’s unique, and veronicas violent, wills working, and xavier getting an x-ray, yolandas yelling, and zane’s zesty.

the older you get everything starts to seem rusty, maybe im just getting dusty. laying here thinking life’s gonna outrun me. it just keeps getting harder, trust me — and no there’s no “going back to the old me”. it all makes me want to go full speed. sure makes me miss smoking weed, when i smoke i seem to become sure of what everyone needs.

if im high you’ll find me passing out new life advice like free raffle tickets. you need 20 tickets for that ride? oh don’t worry hunny, you wont die. this game called life will make sure to keep you alive, but if im being entirely honest - it’s because we’re all dead on the inside.

anyways, you can now see it’s an entire maze in my mind. i wish i had it in me to write a few more lines, after all these thoughts — they’re all mine. but if you ever want to wine and dine, we can take a walk on the wild side while the mild missing of the person i used to be consumes the dreadful silence between us.