As I heard the cry of the last wolf, I knew it was over…

"My darling, wait until you see the cry of the last wolf. Come with me."

See the last wolf? I couldn't even bear to hear it. Twelve years on the farm, and those wolves were like my children. Their howling was devastation.

It's funny. Or at least it would be. It was sunset when she walked me out of the hut. As soon as I stepped out, I was...

Freddy was an unorthodox director, to say the least. His filmography showed little consistency, and yet his audience found one firm belief about him. That he had topped himself. And when they were proven wrong with his next film, the belief would be reinstated. They'd see Freddy's take on A Midsummer Night's Dream--royalty replaced with assassins--and still be surprised a year later when they saw ...

I thought my herbal martini tasted weird this morning. That's when I saw that I was drinking it out of the toilet bowl. What I thought was olive twist turned out to be something much nastier.

Suffice it to say, that olive twist soon became an olive flood. Now I had a toilet bowl full of last night's wine and cheese, a killer hangover, and no herbal martini in sight. I couldn't even look away. I w...

-> Wake Up

-> Eat Breakfast

-> Shower

-> Get Dressed

This was my daily list. Recently, I've been feeling like shaking it up. My coworkers have been making me jealous with their exciting trips and fun hobbies. But, I feel like starting it slow.

-> Wake Up

-> Shower

-> Eat Breakfast

-> Get Dressed

It was a weird start today. Of course, eating a naked breakfast was a freeing experience, but it was...

"A woman has two busts," Claudia heard from her chortling boss. A small man with too big shoes, he only really saw the one bust on Claudia's chest, but he tried to pretend he knew better. It was the 1950's. According to him, "a man knows better, something you better know."

Claudia felt the sleeve on her dress drop a bit when he left. She laughed it off until her chortling boss was well out of sig...

Twenty hundred horses walk into a bar. And the bartender says “Twenty hundred horses? I couldn’t possible serve twenty hundred horses!” The twenty hundred horses then say “NEIGH” because they are horses.

Fred went into the bar a day before and asked for a drink. “I’m getting married to Fred”, he says to the bartender. “How vain…”, replies the bartender.

Wedding gown is adorned....

My parents surrounded me—my mother to the left, and my father to the right—and explained it like this. There was a time long before I was born, when all of the world’s continents were connected. It was called Pangaea, and it was a lot like my parents’ marriage. At first, the continents were happy, and lived together in harmony. Then, they slowly separated, drifting apart until they were on opposit...

(I'm doing the opposite of this)

What a damn time,

waiting for my little man,

as boiling acid is dumped onto him.

What a reckless little man.

He caused this, by the way.

He thought it would be funny

to turn on the stove he can't use,

open our good bologna and a soda,

and cook "bologna soup" for shits and giggles.

Whatever.

I'll burn him out

of his rubble prison.

It's my duty to save him,

even w...

It would be a long journey across the cold High Plains to find my way home in western Kansas. I knew it would require mental fortitude to even brave the storms, much less face the beating cold and howling demons. But, I knew what was waiting for me. And I was ready to brave the storm.

My journey started by climbing a hill. One of steep length and smooth, snowy terrain. Every step, my feet would s...

Graph paper left out for the students of summer school. Some jerks draw square dicks. Most just look at it, too afraid of the pressure. No one really appreciates it.

One girl struggles with her hyperbola. In her struggle, she is brave enough to approach the graph paper and ask for some help. She admits what she does not know and says she wants to learn proper math. Graph paper helps her.

Graph p...