Age is relative

It can be an experience like licking your sticky fingers after eating a popsicle that melted before it could be consumed

It can be an emotion like the excitement of waiting to see what Santa brought you, the belief that even though you never saw him he was real

But in highschool age comes with a checklist

Have you had your first kiss, your first boyfriend, how far did you go

And i...

What ever this was it’s done

I can’t believe I let myself come back to you

I’m so ashamed of myself

You said you’d do better with consistency

You said all I was was a rly good friend you could fuck

I don’t want to be that

I texted you so I could fall back in love

Not to be another guys toy

I hate myself for crawling back

So we’re done

What ever it was we’re done...

Positive

That’s what the test says—

Two lines.

Two paths.

My fingers tremble as I set it on the sink.

What have I done?

I can’t even take care of myself—

How can I take care of it?

I’m barely grown.

This isn’t fair.

This isn’t fair.

But it is.

Because one thing broke—

And this broken world can’t fix it.

I could try to get rid of it.

But is it worth the shame

From the world watching?

No.

I’m ke...

I miss you

Can we try again?

Ill break no contact

Let’s try again...

I miss you

You’re one of my best friends I hope you know that

You stood with me in the chained cells that they imprisoned us both to

Even freed we never unlocked the chains connecting us

I know this sounds stupid and cheesy

But you ghosted me

You’re like an older brother and you left me

I need you and you left

You always have the answers why do you always have the answers

I’m sure if I got in trou...

I don’t think I love you anymore

I think I’ve moved past it

Actually I know

I read through some of our messages

The good ones

And I didn’t feel that longing

The longing to go back

So then I read some of the bad ones

And I didn’t feel that ache to yell

To finally say something even if it was to late

So that must mean I’m over you

I hope it does at least

And old photo of you came up on my phone

I c...

They don’t believe me

I swear it’s true though

There’s a monster behind my door

I can hear its nails clawing at the wood

I see the splinters

The monster speaks to me

His words reach no one else

Except my own ears

Even when I am far from its home of oak

I can always feel his waiting breath against my ear

The promise of a whisper to come

Each night I hear the door open, I hear its creak

Quiet but...

My chest feels lighter

It really does

I don’t cry when I think about you

I don’t look through the windshields

Of the blue SUVs to see if it’s yours

I’m getting over you

Truly I am

Last night I blushed for the first time in months

He asked me out and I kicked my feet

In the last months even you couldn’t do that

I like him I really do

But I get attached to quickly

To much

I need to slow myself down ...

When a leaf falls from a tree

When it disconnects with the structure it was given

The leaf crumples

Will I crumple?

Will my lifeless form wash up on the ocean's sandy beaches

Would anyone notice?

If I’m without you, who would come looking

May my corpse rot, my skin decaying off my bones

May life keep moving with the rotations of the earth

Each time the sun rises, let him remember the way it would ...

Fear can mean many things

A thump in your leg during a test

A racing of your heart before your first kiss

Even the flinch before a jump scare in your favorite show

Right now it’s judgment

I make myself out to be someone who’s comfortable with everything

Specially guys

Even more specific sex

I try to come across confident with what I’ve done

To come across like it’s a hobby, a pass time

But in re...