I wish I had never let go

But I had no choice they’re breath was already gone

Life’s a series of test and you don’t get to choose what you learn

I’m handling soldier level grief while still playing with Lego pieces

4 yrs old asking where my pops at knowing I won’t see him

I wish I had never let go but I didn’t because that wish grew into a demon

Now these voices inside my head never stop scr...

They feed him these scripts since a jit

Gaslighting him to believe they’re legit

Told him not to question them a bit

though he was a skeptic since a kid

Survival instincts trauma breed

Fighting 2 diffrent voices inside his head

One started getting silenced as time advanced

World started looking bleaker from a foggy lens

He only hears the inherited scripts not the other side of him

He fall...

Scared of the attachment if I utter the 3 words I infect you

It’s like throny vines caged around your heart

Double edged sword inetvably tearing us apart

I keep my distance

Fantasize your love then quickly dismiss it

Question if it’s lust then deflect your attention

If I say I love you then we have that build that connection

And that’s my biggest obstacle and obsession

I love you but it’s ...

Walking through the field of death

Its in the air, one sniff you might lose your breath

Lost reasons to care, so I’m strolling through with unguided steps

A sea of red reflects through my iris

Cloudy sky’s reflects where my mind is

Follow my lists of choices to untangle the web

That led to this mess

Did a lot more wrong than I can regret

But yet I still tried to progress

In the end nothin...

They say forgiveness is a virtue, but I’d rather keep my anger

The lessons that come with playing nice I’m no stranger

You learn really quick in life not to accept favors

Most people got they own agenda and don’t care to put you in danger

Some trauma I can’t talk bout

Just thank my savior we made it out that house

Lord knows it took a different type of patience to keep from crashin out

Prom...

The stars smiled upon us as if they knew we’d soon join them

Air still

Vibez tense

Stress immense

Cold sweats

Heavy breaths

Start to wonder is this death

Tightening around the chest

Voice can’t project

feels like a noose tightened around my neck

Start to question then reflect

Feelings of emptiness take effect

Nothing to do but accept

Stare at the stars realize I’m next

Another lost ...

If your hand could reach inside my heart what would you do with it?

Heal it or add more scars and bruises

Help put it back together or tear it into even more pieces

Would you fix or destroy

Be my angel or demon

The questions rhetorical I gave you my heart and I haven’t seen it since

Guess it wasn’t a lie and more of a warning when you choose to love a part of you goes extinct...

Hope is the bridge between despair and joy

Ima product of that statement

Tough times firm you up like the concrete that formed the pavement

Meaning they’re necessary

It’s more so the journey the destination starts becoming secondary

Without mistakes there’s no lessons.

Ignorance is bliss until you pass adolescence

Knowledge is the key to succeed

Learning and exploring your self w...

To self destruct or to grow

Conflicted

Lost

Stuck

I don’t even know no more

Eyes

Self esteem

Feelings

All low

been high for months

Been numb for months

Maybe why I’m in a slump

But without the drugs I don’t feel much

I mean shit just last year I was on deaths door

By my own hands only survived by luck

Ungrateful or grateful shit you take a guess

Sober again already tryna escape ...

Its dark in here

I’m sinking yet i feel no fear

I’m burning i can feel my rage is near

Vision blurred by crystal clear tears

Flooding my face each one hurts

As they attempt they’re escape

I’m tired I’m running off of nothing

Chaos is corrupting my mind

I’m numb beyond understanding

More drugs falling under my consumption

But why? to feel or not to feel? I’m not computing the question

Re...