Scared of the attachment if I utter the 3 words I infect you

It’s like throny vines caged around your heart

Double edged sword inetvably tearing us apart

I keep my distance

Fantasize your love then quickly dismiss it

Question if it’s lust then deflect your attention

If I say I love you then we have that build that connection

And that’s my biggest obstacle and obsession

I love you but it’s toxic and contradicting

Because I’m scared of losing myself searching for something I’m deprivedof but obsessed with