I was, I mean, I am depressed.

I take medication for that, and for anxiety,

Antidotes, as some would call them.

Because I’m sick,

or at least, my brain is.

It’s supposed to keep me alive,

you know, like stranger-danger…

But it’s killing me,

and he knows it too well.

The person I’m trying to become is held back by these thoughts,

the ones that won’t stop.

Until they did…

My “antidotes” save me f...

I spilled my coffee on me before work,

Had to change, arrived late.

Great way to start the day right?

My boss made me do extra work ,

His work actually, but what can I say?

I’m destined to be a paid slave forever.

I don’t control my destiny he does.

Got home, finally.

Laid on my couch like a bag of potatoes,

And fell asleep in front of a « black mirror » episode.

So no. Sorry.

I can’t think of...

Fucking annoying, right?

Sorry. Annoying, right?

I can’t even express myself the way I want,

Because no one can understand what I’m going through.

They know me too well,

All my defaults, my qualities,

The way I roll those bloody cigarettes,…

I can’t even have my own secret garden,

Because they invaded it like parasites,

Mumbling CONSTANTLY about every single one of my actions.

The worst pa...

Know that word - Autodidact ?

I didn’t, I saw it once in a comedy,

You know, the type of movie that’s suppose to make you laugh,

Well. I didn’t laugh. I tought, and I tought, …

It’s funny I tought,

Such an ugly word to talk about someone so brave.

It takes such a strong mind to built his own.

Autodidacts aren’t born like that, they’re made.

Like the monsters in movies, the Jocker for example.

I ...

The laughter of the group filled the silence,

A noise so loud not held by any sort of abstinence.

You could smell the bond tearing up the bodies,

Everyone couldn’t stop staring,

Jealousy, anger, loneliness filled up their hearts.

The fragrances of the girls noticed by every guy,

A competition that never dies.

I could breath the joy of their souls,

We were all playing our roles.

The jocker, the l...

Dark blue, red, Sometimes green,

The tentacles run the night city,

Shining brighter than the universe itself,

They reign for the washed out souls.

I noticed them, from my forteresse,

but what i truly see, is the fire burning the fine paper.

The only true thing that helps me see through this sky full of lies.

the end....

Was it easy — raping me?

Your fingertips stung harder than a bee.

I stayed quiet, thinking I was wrong,

your words replaying in my head like a song.

Truth is, you knew you were the bad guy,

when you disrespected me, staring into my eyes.

Even with that, I don’t know what to think,

I shouldn’t have gotten so drunk in a blink.

But did you have to take advantage of that?

Sneaky — like a filthy rat....

High up above us, they watch and mesmerize everyone,

but as they were shining at their brightest, I noticed one.

Her spark was bleeding as she slowly faded away,

usually she would shine after goes the day,

but not tonight, tonight she fell,

now destined to live in a cell....

Looking through his eyes, I turn to stone,

Lover of Medusa, I hear him groan.

Shadow that’s been following me for hours,

He looks at me whispering what could’ve been ours.

Nostalgia, guilt, fear are running through my veins,

Memories who forever in my heart, stains.

As our gazes meet, a new expression appears on his face,

And slowly disappears, between us, the space.

The closer he gets, the wid...

All this love, this passion, beautiful and overwhelming at times… It was all a lie. All. A. Lie.

Running through the forest in the middle of the night, i don’t know where to go, i just have to keep running.

i can hear his steps, heavy and loud, and his narcissistic laugh echoing againts the rocks surrounding us …

Ps: writing the rest soon ❤️❤️...