Stop asking why I’m distant,

It’s obvious.

I was forced into a role of maturity,

Since I was little.

I shouldn’t have had to grow up like that,

Not that fast,

But I did.

I’m distant because you ignored my every issue,

My basic needs,

You ignored my feelings,

My emotions.

You never took care of me,

Even when I _begged_

__

_I told you I was drowning. _

_You told me I was only 14 and I didn’t have any real problems. _

__

__

I would have done it then and there,

But I have people I need to live for.

Even when I don’t want too,

It’s called sacrifice.

There is a new word for your vocabulary,

You do it to show you care.

But do you?

Care?

It’s hard to tell at times.

But I tell myself you do,

Dispite playing the victim,

Dispite the gaslighting,

The blaming,

The never taking accountability,

The egotistic way you act.

The way You only care about winning,

And now you are the winner,

Because there’s nothing

That ever did quite kill me,

More than what you did.

Now you really are the winner.

But in the end I love you.

And I feel horrible every time I tell people how you make me feel.

Because your my father.

My dad.

And I truely do love you,

and I’ll never stop,

No matter how bad you mess up.

Father’s Day just makes me anxious.

Afraid.

But I did it for you,

And I’m happy I did.

But, i still can’t stop thinking,

About how you only care,

About winning.