(Satirical piece)

I know we’re always stressin’

I know we’re always down in the dumps

I know we’re super busy, super focused

I know we’re always angry

I know we’re always addicted

I know we’re always hard on ourselves

I know we’re always disgusted or freaked out

I know we’re always feeling super responsible for literally everything

But, sometimes, man, I wanna zone out

Be in such a peaceful state of mind

That nothing bothers me or distracts me

I can relax

On this structure, I lie on

With this big pile of blankets next to it

Close to the sea with all these ships around me

Just having a chill day

Not worrying if the world will end

If I don’t speak up in some conversation

Even if you speak up, guess what?

The conversation is still going to be about that unnecessary remake

That they complain about so passionately

Yet still watch anyway

So there’s nothing to worry about

So just have a chill day

Not worrying if a monster will show up

That same monster ending up a powerful dictator

If I forget to lift the toilet seat up

Even though someone else will probably put it down

Not worrying if I puke my guts out

Never eat again, live the same way again

After watching that gross horror movie

Even though you just forgot about it

Not worrying if something terrible will happen

To you, someone else, or just in general

If a show ends

Because you’ll forget about it when you watch another show

Not getting angry enough to punch a wall

When you talk to that one guy who never listens

Never listens to you, no matter what

Because you can just talk to someone else you like

Not getting angry enough to shout

When I have to wait forever

For that one guy who never shows up on time

Because he’s still gonna show up, right?

Not getting angry enough to strangle someone

When they won’t shut up

So you don’t get a say or just don’t relax

Because they will shut up at some point

Not getting so angry you’d flip a desk

When a show lazily kills off a character

Or jumps the shark

Because you can just move on to another show

Not getting scared

If the boogeyman comes out of my closet

Tonight, this night

Because he didn’t show up on any other nights

Not getting scared

If a black cat comes by

And I’ll get bad luck for the rest of my life

Because you have already been around them before, you just never noticed them

Not getting scared

If I bump into a car

When I try parallel parking

Because the person in that other car has probably done the same thing

Not getting grossed out

When you see gross stuff on pizza

That would never work on pizza

Because you’re still gonna eat that slice anyway

Not getting grossed out

When you smell something bad

Think that it’s awful

Because you are also capable of making such smells, too

Not getting grossed out

When someone’s horny

Watching some dirty things

Because you did the same thing at least once

Not getting grossed out

When you see someone’s blood, pus, or flesh

Or anything gross that would come from someone

Because it comes from you, too

Not getting sad when you lose a toy

Somewhere in the house

Not thinking you could find it

Because it is still in your house, you can still find it

Not getting sad when you spill milk

Spilling everywhere

All over the floor

Because you can just clean it up

Not getting sad when you don’t get an A

On some test

For some hard class

Because you still passed and got a B

Not getting sad when you hurt yourself

Pretty badly

Making you cry

Because it’s not going to last

So, man, just relax

With me as I sit down

Just chill out

On this chill day