I’m really happy for you,

I swear, I would never be jealous,

You’re my closest friend.

To see how your smile consumes your face,

How ecstatic you are,

I can’t help but grin in return.

And yet.

You’re so good at everything.

You’ve more than deserved this.

There is no doubt in my mind.

And yet.

It makes me wonder.

Would I ever be good enough?

To deserve the same happiness you do?

I cannot even begin to describe,

How amazing it is for me,

Just to watch you have your moment.

To see how bright your eyes become,

It’s more than words can tell.

Know that I would never take that away.

And yet.

I feel selfish,

For daring to think about myself,

And what I haven’t done.

And yet,

I can’t help myself.

I don’t think my moment will ever come.

I don’t think I’ll ever earn it.

I’m really happy for you,

Please don’t misunderstand.

I just want to be happy for me too.

And yet.

And yet.

And yet.