Acrid smoke stings my nose. It’s the battlefield’s hot breath of relief. I’ve accomplished what I set out to — retribution.

They thought they won, but their hatred created a hatred in me. Now they get to experience it firsthand. May this be a lesson for all in the future: if you cross me, I will destroy everything you ever had.

Boiling, chaotic rage churns my stomach. A battle cry to my left rings out, and I feel the wind they leave as they rush ahead, cutting off a man’s terror in the air. The silence it leaves in that moment fuels me. And the hush of horror feeds my fire.

“Forward!” My voice carries into the night shadows. “We don’t stop until there is no one left!”

Roderick, my loyal captain and friend, frowns at me. He hesitates, but my face does not waver. Nodding, he moves forward with my command.

Lightning splits the sky. For a heartbeat, the crumbling castle brightens — and there he is. Julian. My breath catches like the castle walls mid-collapse.

Below the ledge I stand on, Julian leans over the lifeless body of the most bitter woman I ever met, his mother. He holds her hand like she is still there. Tears cut through the dirt on his cheeks. He looks at me, and I freeze.

He doesn’t look like a calculating, cold killer. He looks defeated. Torn and broken.

I should feel victorious, but shame seeps in like ice water. I hate that it chills me. The smile I give him feels like a forced lie.

“Why?” His wavering voice knocks the smile from my face.

Julian bends over his mother’s body, shielding her from the storm that is threatening to break open above us. I want to feel sorry for him. For the grief breaking across his face. But I cling to my anger. Maybe now he’ll know how I felt.

“You know why.” My voice comes out tight.

He shakes his head. “No… I know they never liked you, but—“ his voice cracks. Julian clears his throat, wanting to continue.

“She was kidnapped. Tortured. Murdered. And by your family.” My head lowers. “My mom was all I had.”

“No.” The word rips from him. “Impossible.” His shoulders shake as tears fall on her dress.

The wind picks up, blowing the hair off my face as realization crushes into my ribs. Julian never knew what his family had done to my mother. She was my last living family member, the only person to truly love me, and his father burned her alive.

His family deserves this. But he doesn’t. And his people probably don’t either.

A child’s cry cuts through the crackle of fire. My gaze locks on a boy no older than eight — then the sword falls. My stomach twists.

My men aren’t fighting soldiers anymore. They’re butchering families. My wrath sputters out, leaving only horror’s cold ashes.

Rain lashes down, sharp as punishment. Flinching with each drop, I call my men home. Julian’s face is carved with hostility and grief. I have taken everything from him today, including the last piece of me he might have loved.

The sky and smoke blur together, swallowing me in death’s shadow. That darkness chokes me until I wear it on my skin as tears cling to my eyes. I have no choice but to turn my back on the ruins.

A hollowness grows in my chest with each step we take. Revenge tastes different now — ash, cold in my mouth. I have become what I hated.

Maybe they made me the monster I am today. Or maybe I was always capable of being this person. All I know is nothing was won.

What was lost is still lost. And now I am lost too.