“Upon translation of “Twilight”, we decided to block the planet from any communications, just in the event that vampires should consume us.”

The human general tapped the strange cube on the table. “Pardon? I believe there is some translation error. Vampires are not real.”

The box took the words and fed them to the tall alien in front of me.

There was a click of antennae as a response came back through the box.

“Oh? The records of Edward Cullen and his kin are some of the sacred texts we took from extensive research.”

The general couldn’t help but smile and the alien recoiled in horror. The box screamed the words as the alien diplomat did.

“Please! Do not attack! Our blood will not sustain you!”

“No, no!” The general chuckled. “‘Twilight’ is a work of fiction. Vampires are not real. Human history is dark, but vampires have only ever been misinformation in dark times. This book came from the mind of a human.”

The alien listened to the box. “I do not understand. Why would someone fabricate history that contains such creatures?”

What followed, instead of a diplomatic discussion about humanities place in the universe, was a history of the written word.

“So, a human - lots of humans - have created ‘fantasy’ and ‘romance’ and other… genres.” The alien looked thoughtful.

“Could we have some samples?”

The general almost laughed. She had been trying to see what humans had that others didn’t so that earth could trade and catch up with the rest of the galaxy when it came to medication and transport.

It turned out books were worth more than gold.