WRITING OBSTACLE

Write a fast-paced scene that takes place during a rush hour.

There doesn't need to be a dramatic plot, but think about how you can create and maintain a busy and rushed feeling in a short story.

Rush Hour

Lights flash on and off along with the faint call of car alarms

A whisper of the breeze of this already freezing day

The air filled with murmurs of thoughts, thick with concentration

That would just fade back into the blurs around me as the lights change from red to green

Mobiles screening at each other through the stops

Where did everyone have to go that was so important?

How did they see through this blurry mess that rests in my eyes?

Standing in the middle of the crosswalk, frozen

The stink of metal, and the smell of pastries

And for a moment, everything was silent—still

And the world was beautiful as it became clear

The scream of tires, and flashing lights, and——

Shoulders bumped into mine, urging as the students released from the day

And from their cloudy skies rained down into stomping feet that moved with mine

Into the screaming lights of the cars, back into a place where people rushed

To rise and to go back into the motions that I have memorized

As if eyes closed, because they might as well be blind

I can’t see a thing

Comments 2

Thank you!!!!!

Yesssss. I love the phrase "The air filled with murmurs of thought, thick with concentration." Good job!!!