“If only this world had shown me a little more mercy and a lot less appreciation I wouldn’t be the inglorious bitch you see before you. But there you have it.”

Bolting upright in her tub, Periwinkle screamed. Selma, her fake boyfriend’s very real mother, sat regally on Periwinkle’s toilet. The shocked pixie tried to cover herself with a loofah. A streak of silver hair in her platinum bob and a chilled gimlet in her hand, the elegant witch looked perfectly at ease.

“I beg your pardon!” Periwinkle shouted.

“Apology accepted, dear.”

“You can see I’m naked here.”

“Yes, I can. And by those brand new wings you’ve sprouted my Harlow has seen you naked too. Good for you! That boy has been cooped up too long with his pride and his left hand. My grandmama always said the best way to get over a lover was to get onto another. Of course she was a silly tramp but by fates she lived. Life was meant to be lived. By the way you cursed him out during the gala I could see you understand. Hearts broken, mistakes made. Harlow poor thing takes after his father.”

Looking suddenly older, Selma sipped her cocktail. Periwinkle sputtered. Fumbling for her robe, she realized the mad witch showed no signs of leaving her bathroom. With nod, Selma levitated the robe. It settled around Periwinkle’s shoulders.

“I never fell in love with Hayworth. He was older than me and worried too much about what others think. But his people were desperate for an heir and my family wanted the status. So we did our duty. No we didn’t fall in love like a storybook. By the end we had something more precious than love.”

Selma drained her glass. The witch shuddered and Periwinkle’s utilitarian linen bathrobe turned into a blush pink silk wrap adorned with sumptuous feathers. The witch hiccupped. Periwinkle’s simple bathtub transformed into a bubbling hot spring. Selma belched. The bath mat beneath the pixie’s exploded into a litter of rose petals. Periwinkle gasped.

“Harlow says you’re brilliant with understanding people. So I know you understood my little Lucille comment to you at the party. I’m glad you understand my outburst. Harlow pretended they were the ideal couple when they were secretly miserable in private. I assumed he was pretending with you to get me off his back about dating again. Once I saw you unleash that twister at the carving station. I knew your feelings were genuine—unhinged—but genuine.”

“Wait what? Slow down,” periwinkle said.

She stumbled as Selma stood and prepared to wink out.

“No I can’t stay to chat, dear. I have a hex scheduled in fifteen minutes. Give my best to Harlow.”

In a puff of perfumed smoke, Selma was gone. Periwinkle sank down into the rose petals more confused than ever.

“What’s better than love?” She whispered.

In the condensation on her mirror the word honesty appeared.