Something has broken into my house,

Torn open the door to my room,

Found me, small and helpless,

And clawed its way into my heart.

Something has frozen my tears,

Making them cold and painful as they fall.

It latches to me in the dead of night,

This shaking, disgusting insanity.

It grips me in fear, sets me on fire,

Thick, choking dread that engulfs me.

It strikes every inch of me aflame,

Apathetic to how I burn.

You’re alone, it whispers, all alone.

No one would ever want to save you.

Why would they disgrace themselves,

With your presence?

I shudder, unable to breathe.

I hate how it’s right, I can’t stand it.

It cradles me in shivers,

Hissing my worthlessness like a lullaby.

It drowns me in my bed,

Shoving down memories of me.

Memories of me being irredeemable,

Me being brash and naive and useless.

You’re a burden, it says.

I want to believe it, I really do.

Why can’t you just be silent?

Pretend you have a shred of decency?

I want it to leave me alone._ _

But I can’t bring myself to send it away.

How could I do such a thing,

When loneliness is the only company I can rely on?