If I want this I have to survive. But how can I when I look like this. I can’t even put pills in my body. I don’t want to keep answering the questions about my scars. I don’t want to be this way. But just for the thought of saving someone. A innocent life. I have to continue this is my dream. I want to be there on peoples worse days. Putting the fire out. But I’m killing myself by living.