POEM STARTER
Submitted by Robin Marlowe
Write a poem about unseasonable weather. e.g. A warm day in the winter, or snow in the summer.
The coldest winter I had ever spent
was the summer I stayed with you
on a pullout couch that you called your bed
in a room in an apartment
of a family of four
Both of us could take me or leave me
But it was comfortable
The short and to the point nature of this poem is refreshing. The slow reveal of the living situation is done well, with how it starts as “the summer I stayed with you,” then shifts to “on a pullout couch” followed by “in a room in an apartment” and finishing with “of a family of four.” The image progresses throughout, giving the feeling of peeling the curtain back little by little, starting with two people, then confining them to a couch, then confining the couch to a room confined in an apartment, then further confining the apartment by mentioning it houses a family of four.
I was confused by the opening line at first, and I didn’t understand how “the summer I stayed with you” could be “the coldest winter.” Upon rereading, it seems to me that the coldness is because “both of us could take me or leave me.” That’s a powerful line that indicates both the speaker’s low self-esteem and the other person’s lack of interest in whatever type of relationship they had together. I think it could be hinted at a bit sooner in the poem to really tie it together, but given that the poem is so short already, it may be difficult to make something fit.
Great poem. I really enjoyed this one, especially when I read it a few more times.
